Alrighty folks, the Eighty-Third Edition of the Carnival of the Liberals is coming up on January 28, and guess what: In honor of the liberal love of the so-called "Fairness Doctrine" that you commie freaks want to impose on freedom, this carnival has been handed over to me, Doctor Snedley; an America-Loving, Constitution-Protecting, Liberal-Hating conservative who understands the importance of setting partisan name-calling aside and putting our country first.
That's right, folks. You've been hoisted by your own petard. Perhaps you'll think twice now about wanting to replace a beloved moderate like Rush Limbaugh with recordings of your fascist masters, Joe Stalin, Michael Moore, and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Not that this is my first time to host your little carnival, having hosted Carnival #11 and Carnival #40; both of which are widely acknowledged as the best two carnivals in the entire series. Even liberal media elitists like David Brooks and George Will have commended me at our weekly cocktail soirees for my fair-minded approach towards your extremist hatefest.
But don't worry, for this edition I decided to take a theme that is near and dear to your leftist hearts. To mark the occasion when election fraud was finally able to officially spit on our Founding Fathers by electing a non-Christian jihadist of dubious citizenship, I have announced a choice of two themes for this carnival related to the inaugural transition.
I Know Barack Obama Will Betray America Because...
I Was Wrong For Hating Bush Because...
Due to the obviously contrarian nature of you liberal radicals, I will accept submissions on any subject; but any submissions that fit either of these two themes will be automatically included. In fact, any inaugural theme will get extra consideration, even if you use the occasion to heap praise on Dear Leader Obama. I mean, any group of individuals who have so thoroughly devoted their lives towards the destruction of the very value system that allows them to survive clearly can't be expected to understand the importance of following the rules.
But one rule we can't bend is the deadline. The contest is January 28, and any submissions that don't get to me in time will just have to wait until the 84th edition. So, submit early and often and with any luck, you'll be one of the lucky ten to be included in this epic carnival. And as an added bonus, uber-leftist Alan Colmes has offered to help me cull through the muck, so you can see how fair & balanced my carnival will be. If only you socialistic hate-mongers could be as non-ideological and polite as Snedley & Colmes, this country would be a much nicer place.