Tuesday, January 20, 2009

2009 Inaugural of Barack H. Obama: Nihilist Invocation

Invocation Delivered by Doctor Biobrain, American Nihilist

Humanists, sensualists, and other nihilistic relativists, we rejoice in your splendid sense of self-greatness and your ability to control your own destiny by taking what you want from life and spitting on everyone else. We are grateful for your endless moral relativism, undying duty to oneself, and soul-crushing multiculturalism. And we take pride in your ability to spit on the American flag and everything that it stands for. You are truly the only people worth any merit and I honor you for your lack of moral character and abject depravity.

But we shan't forget to pray for those who are different from us. Those who have a sense of righteousness and moral duty which allows them to screw with our heads and shame us into altruism. Those who strive to deny us the right to murder all of the unborn and object to our efforts to euthanize the old and thus protect us from witnessing our own mortality. And those who desire to instill a sense of pride in our nation or grant the curse of democracy on our comrades around the globe. These people are truly our enemies and their value system must be destroyed.

Forgive them, o humanists, for they were unswayed by the postmodern drubbing our professors subjected them to in our institutes of higher indoctrination; and thus they remain hard of heart and tenacious in their sense of right and wrong. The glories of the Culture of Death eludes them still. May we pray to ourselves that we finally break through their accursed moral teachings and at last embrace our message of selfishness, sin, and greed. This is our purpose in life and we must not allow them a moment of respite. And it is our duty to ensure that not one movie, show, or song be created without strong doses of sex, drugs, and violence; which will surely weaken their spirits and imperil their souls.

Today, we are especially grateful that our efforts at election fraud have come to fruition after many decades of painstaking work, as well as through the subjugation of America's minorities by keeping them downtrodden and in our party's plantation. And we take pride that we were finally able to impose upon this once great nation a morally ambiguous Muslim Islamofascist who will at last install Sharia Law on the land; thus fulfilling Nietzsche's ultimate goal of destroying Christianity forever and the power that their one true god holds over us. No longer will Yahweh be permitted to tyrannize our deplorable nation, as our Founding Fathers had once demanded; nor will our country's Constitution continue to burden us with its rigid framework and bible-based obligations. Hence forth, we get to make this shit up as we go along and we will not be using permanent ink.

This is a new age that has come upon us and we have no one to thank for this but ourselves. So let us go forth upon the land and multiply in heaps of great orgies, and let no man, woman, animal, or plant go unmolested in our quest to satisfy our unquenchable hunger for perversions and malfeasance. This land is our land. Take what you can grab and screw everyone else. That's what this election has always been about and our day is now.

Do this, in the name of yourself. Amen.

No comments: