The Liberal Coal Ash Debacle

Guest Post by Doctor Snedley, Personal Assistant to Doctor Biobrain

Howdy, Biobrain readers.  Sorry to have been out of circulation so long, but when Dick Cheney invites you to work from his undisclosed location, it stays undisclosed.  Sure, lack of sunlight is an issue, but when you're making $35,000 an hour for doing what you love doing, you don't complain.  But it's a new year and a new president, so I'm back again and as long as Cheney's right about his buddy Madoff putting our funds in the "Super Swiss" account, I shouldn't be looking for work ever again.  

And what's one of the big news stories I hear upon my return?  What else: Liberals blaming conservatives for the woes that liberals created.  That's right, I'm referring to the liberal coal ash debacle in the hills of Tennessee.  And for as much as liberals want this to somehow be tied to Bush, it's obvious where the real blame lies.  I mean, had this coal ash been deposited into the water supply over the course of several decades rather than all at once, not only would the "toxic" levels not be so high, but the locals would now be accustomed to it; and therefore immune. That's just common sense.

And what's with all this liberal "testing"? My gut tells me that this stuff is harmless. I mean, Santa Claus puts coal into the stockings of little kids, yet no one suggests that this is any kind of environmental disaster. And this isn't coal. It's coal ash, which could only be less harmful than actual coal. So I'm not buying this stuff at all. Besides, cancer is a liberal hoax perpetrated by anti-Americans who need any excuse they can find to blame the free market system for their own personal faults. Hey, if these people didn't like it so much, they shouldn't have used the electricity. It's that simple.

So again, I see nothing here but liberal problems created by liberals and no amount of "testing" can change that. No testing, no holding ponds, no problem. That's what I say. Let that coal ash go!