Saturday, May 31, 2008

The New Accountability

Hey, I just got pulled over for speeding and when I explained to the cop that, while I may have been speeding, that this was all in the past and that he really needed to just get over it, he totally agreed with me and let me off without so much as a warning. I even asked him for his legal opinion about the dead guy in my trunk, and after he ascertained that the guy was already dead, he declared that the statute limitations had expired as soon as the guy had. And that really made me feel better, as there was blood everywhere. I mean, everywhere. But as he explained, it's a cop's duty to stop crimes and because it was obvious that this crime stopped itself, everything was fine. And while I got a bit freaked when the guy in my trunk somehow resuscitated himself and started screaming for help, the cop just pulled out his gun like Dirty Harry and shot the guy dead with one bullet. As it turns out, the undead have no rights; especially not when they're screaming like that. Awesome! I'll have to remember that next time.

Cops really are our friends. I love never having to say I'm sorry.

No comments: