Well shit, I was all psyched about going to the new Indiana Jones movie, but lo and behold, it turns out it's just anti-Communist pap and that both Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett are CIA running dogs. Shit! I'm a big Indiana Jones fan, but fuck if I'm going to betray my Communist masters at a time like this and go see the film.
Not only is it "anti-Soviet propaganda," but it apparently isn't a true story either, at least not according to party chief Sergei Malinkovich; and I've never had reason to doubt Comrade Malinkovich yet
"It's rubbish ... In 1957 the communists did not run with crystal skulls throughout the U.S. Why should we agree to that sort of lie and let the West trick our youth?"
Really?? What's next? Will we find out that the American government didn't store the Ark of the Covenant in a giant warehouse after retrieving it from the Nazis whose heads exploded? And perhaps Superman isn't really harmed by Kryptonite. Is there no truth in this world?