Rice Has a Hunch

Let's bomb Iran. What other choice do we have? Condi Rice, one of a brave cadre of foreign policy experts who have yet to be proven wrong about anything in a court of law that wasn't biased against them, has suspicions that Iran isn't being honest about it's nuclear aspirations. Iran "says" they're not seeking nuclear weapons, but...what if they are?

And just look what happened with Iraq: Saddam behaved in ways that these foreign policy experts found completely inscrutable and it turns out that his nuclear program was so covert that we still haven't found it. It's obvious that the "what do they have to hide" school of deduction is much more accurate than any of this actual "finding weapons" nonsense the peaceniks demand.

After all, if our enemies can't prove that they're not up to no good beyond a suspicion of a doubt, it's obvious they're up to no good. Because secrecy is only the tool of evil, which is why our government is so completely forthright about everything, with the obvious exception of anything that Dick Cheney is involved in. But hey, we can't give away all our secrets, can we? Besides, it's ok for us to manipulate other countries and constantly hide our true intent because we're the good guys. But we know that bad guys are up to no good when they do this kind of stuff, because they're the bad guys. That's why we have to punish them.

Give Her a Scooby Snack

Rice, displaying all the canniness of Thelma on Scooby Doo said "I continue to suspect this is not at all about a civil nuclear program" and "One has to wonder what is going on here." Indeed, it would be irresponsible not to wonder.

And lest you believe this is more of the same saber rattling we've heard in the past, I should point out that the headline of the article said that Rice was raising "new doubts" on Iran's nuke program; so you can rest assurred that this is something new. The article failed to mention what exactly was so "new" about these doubts of Condi's, but I guess that would be redundant because it already said they were new in the headline.

Oh, and according to the article, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Admiral Mullen, "added more U.S. pressure on Iran" when he told an anti-Iranian Jewish group that Iran's evil ambitions were "the perfect nightmare." Wow, I'm sure Iran felt truly pressured by that comment. "He's on to us," they must be saying to themselves. As well as "Oh well, this pressure is too great. Let's stop being evil." You can bank on it. We've got them sweating now.

Playing the Game

Snark aside, I understand that it must be tough to be a newspaper reporter, and sometimes careless words sneak through, but this is absurd. Condi's "suspicions" are horrible jokes by someone with zero credibility and they're about as new as the Macarena. And the Admiral's comment was the standard scare-mongering these guys have been saying for decades. This wasn't even saber rattling; he was just trying to scare some Jews who already hated Iran into hating it even more. How does this constitute "pressure on Iran?"

The truth is that the only thing "new" here is that the warmongers got yet another reporter to carry their water and make the same old fearmongering sound fresh and threatening. But these people have no credibility whatsoever and only deserve our scorn. Even Admiral Mullen, who I know nothing of and who might be the finest military mind in existence, has no business trying to influence our foreign policy this way. This isn't the way the system is supposed to work. Because at this point, he's nothing but a Bush lackie; same as the others. Yet he's using his uniform to give authority to Bush's words that none of the rest of the lackies have.

But luckily, the rest of America isn't as foolish as this reporter and will continue to ignore all these scare tactics and dubious suspicions. We're all just waiting out the clock at this point. Even the warmongers are really just going through the motions. They say these things because they have to say these things. But even they know it's just a game at this point. They know they won't get their war, but they've got to play along all the same. And besides, after January, the only chance people are really going to want to listen to them is if they got called before Congress as part of some inquisition. This is all they've got left.