Thursday, May 01, 2008

Fantasyland Fiscals

Well I just paid over $48 to fill up my gas tank, but dammit, if only there was a presidential candidate who could pander to my basest economic instincts and make it so I only had to pay $46 instead of $48. That'd not only make me feel happier, but the extra $2.48 would really have helped my typical American family. Why, I could have used it to buy a bag of porkrinds and a big can of Lonestar Beer. Or, if I was an elitist snob, to buy half a grande mocha latte with caramel shot at Starbucks. But god forbid that money actually go to fixing our roads. I gots to get my porkrinds.

And if there were more than one candidate willing to appeal to my base instincts with lame taxcuts that do little to actually help me financially, perhaps I should consider voting for the candidate with other dangerous taxcut policies. Like one who appeals to my Get Quick Rich fantasies of someday being a billionaire with a big fortune to give away to my kids. Sure, it's quite doubtful that the Death Tax will ever effect me personally, but what if it did? What if my wildest fantasies come true? Better to pick the candidate with the best tax panderings than to the ones who acknowledge reality and try to fix our problems instead of wishing them away.

And why stop there? If I'm willing to ignore reality for cheap pandering, why not go for the candidate who promises to give me everything? If I'm willing to forgo smart fiscal policy for cheap pandering, it's obvious I'm going to go all the way with this and ignore the candidate that only meets me halfway. Why take half my medicine if one of the candidates insists I don't need any at all? If I'm living in a fantasyworld, I want the whole fantasy, and won't just settle for one taxcut.

Basically, you either run as Republican-lite and get out-Republicaned in the general election, or you run as a Democrat and see how that plays out. And as we've seen, fantasyland Republicans are oh so popular right now, so it just makes sense to go with more of the fantasy.

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