Buy My Book

Carpetbagger cited a study that showed that liberals read more than conservatives in regards to policy books, and quoted one person saying "It’s pretty hard to write a book saying, ‘No new taxes, no new taxes, no new taxes’ on every page."

And I thought, why the hell not? In fact, such a book would be pretty damn funny. Each page would have "No New Taxes" written once in large print. And just to make things interesting, you'd want to have a different variation on each page. Like “Don’t raise my taxes” “Taxes are bad” “Taxation is theft” “No tax" and "Taxes=Bad" that kind of thing. And you could give it some fancy title to make it sound like it was supposed to be some sort of wonky conservative manifesto on why taxes are bad. Or perhaps just "No New Taxes: A Conservative Manifesto on Why Taxes Are Bad".

I honestly think this thing could make good money. It'd be the kind of thing you'd keep out on your coffee table as a conversation piece, or as a joke gift for your conservative friend. Or hell, conservatives never do understand irony. They'd probably think it was a serious work, study it diligently, and perhaps even cite it as a reference source during a debate. "See, it says right here 'No New Taxes.' Well I guess that settles that, libtard."

And if it sold well, I could make a series out of it. Like "No New Government: A Conservative Manifesto on Why Government is Bad" and "No New Bureaucracy: A Conservative Manifesto on Why Bureaucracy is Bad". I could keep this up forever and could imagine some conservative with a whole bookshelf of these things. "This is great! Finally someone who can explain this stuff in plain English."

So if any of you people out there are book publishers or know of any book publishers, send them my way. This thing would sell like hotcakes. Especially with the "Doctor Biobrain" name on the cover, as well as a picture of me on the back wearing a tweed jacket with leather patches on the elbows, a pipe in my mouth, and fake glasses. I would look like quite the intellectual.

If necessary, I could sell-out by hiring someone to do illustrations on each page; for example, showing a stern guy denying a greedy tax collector his money, or shouting at a greedy politician. But I'd prefer to go with the straight words and nothing else, as I think it's funnier that way. You know how to reach me.