Gaying Up The Cowboys

Via Sadly, No!, we read:

It is cognitively and nationally dissonant to propose on one hand the advancement of the homosexualization of your most identified national folk icon and simultaneously bluster with the impending force of a war to defend that same civilization.

This is from an essay by “Andrew Longman” (his porn name, I’m sure) from Renew America, titled: You Can’t Fight Islamism with Gay Cowboys.  And I swear, this is the exact kind of shit I’d write if I were stoned enough.  And I mean like really really stoned.  Like with the stuff that gets carpet fibers and lead paint in it, as well as many other artificial enhancers.  What the hell is wrong with these people?  Are they serious?  Are they working on some much deeper level of reality than even I can comprehend?  Is this a form of super-genius reverse-psychology, or are they just batshit crazy?  I’m leaning towards the batshit crazy/fucking-retarded angle, but I so don’t want to.  I want to believe that this is somehow intentional; that they’re somehow five steps ahead of us, and not ten centuries back.  Not just for our sake, but for theirs.  

And honestly, doesn’t the “In your face, screw you bastards” form of neo-conservatism that the Bushies insist upon demand that we force gay cowboys on the Islamist badguys?  Are we really supposed to pretend as if we’re doing our best to thumb our noses at the terrorists, if we’re kowtowing to their anti-gayism?  That was certainly part of the whole Abu Ghraib punishment system, and I see no reason why that wouldn’t extend to our culture as a whole.  And wouldn’t the ultimate insult be for them to be conquered by a gay cowboy?  Or gay soldiers?  Shouldn’t the nutbags be all over this shit?  Or is that the exact argument that Mr. Longman is leading us to?   Might they be attacking the gay cowboys so that we more readily accept them?  Or do they somehow really believe that any of this means squat to the terrorists; as if the terrorists want our cowboys to be gay?  As if the cave-dwelling terrorists even know about our gay cowboys.

There’s a fine line between stupid and clever, and either these people are walking it perfectly, or they’ve fallen off and had their brain-yolks fried on the pavement many years ago.  I’m hoping for the former, but fearing for the latter.  Not just for their sakes, but for gay cowboys everywhere.