Sunday, January 20, 2008

Republican Photo Magic

I just read about how a former mayor of Sugarland is trying to win the Republican nomination to win back Tom DeLay's old Congressional seat, and sent out a mailer with his head Photoshopped on some skinnier dude's body. And while the initial reaction is to want to laugh at this bozo, that is, in fact, the correct reaction and you can keep laughing.

But is this really too surprising? I mean, it doesn't really matter who Republicans send to Congress, they're all speaking from the same brain. The only difference here is that you've got the right dude's head on the wrong dude's body, but once he's in office, it'll be his fat ass body taking orders from somebody else's head. And rather than sharing body parts with just one dude, it'll be thousands of Republicans talking from this same head. So I really don't see what the big deal here is. It doesn't matter if it's Dean Hrbacek or Tom DeLay or Karl Rove himself running against Nick Lampson, they'll all be repeating the same damn lies no matter who wins the nomination.

Hell, I don't even see why we need to see what they look like anyway. They should just go ahead and use photos of the people you see in picture frames at the store, including the family shots. These aren't real people, anyway. They're just actors, hired for their ability to say lines convincingly and without laughing too much. And they'll attack the gays they want to sleep with and denounce the immigrants they'll hire to mow their lawn and raise their children. The only thing these people bring to Congress is a warm body able to say "yea" or "nay" on command. And so with Dean Hrbacek, it's going to be a slightly bigger warm body than his constituents realized.

For posterity's sake, below are fake and real pictures of the dude. Guess which is which. And is it just me, or does his face look thinner in the doctored picture; so much so that you might think they're different people? Even weirder, doesn't the body in the thin picture look like Governor Perry's in the thick pic? You decide.


Doctor Biobrain said...

For anyone interested, I got the lower photo from Dean's Flickr page and then cropped it to make it a better picture.

A said...

Can't win. Name falls below the permissible GOP vowel-to-consonant ratio.

Doctor Biobrain said...

Alright A, I actually laughed out loud at that one. Good observation.

Not that there's anything wrong with the name, but you'd think they would have changed it to Herbachek by now. It's not a great last name (like Biobrain), but at least it doesn't injure people to look at.