Friday, September 14, 2007

The Difference Between Libs and Cons

Wow, apparently there are wider gulfs between liberals and conservatives than I had ever imagined. As I learned from Roy at alicublog, conservatives apparently believe that human beings have value and (gasp!) think America is a great country. Don't believe me? Here's the money quote from some crazy human valuer at a Redstate:

And if there are two things that American conservatives believe strongly, it's that human beings have value, and that America is a great country.

Well no wonder we never get along with them. I always thought it was just differing opinions exacerbated by their selective view of reality and stubborn contrarianism and selfishness. But now I see it goes much deeper than that. They actually care about people and our country. Who'd have thunk it?

I guess their pro-torture and pro-poverty stances are nothing more than their way of reminding people how nice it is to be rich and untortured. You know, so we don't take these things for granted. And who appreciates being rich and untortured more than a poor person who's been tortured? Perhaps I should start torturing people and allowing poor people to starve too. I can also work to deny children education and healthcare too. Just thinking about it has brought a new emotion into my life: Joy. No wonder people like being conservative. There's more to life than evilness, death, and the environment.

Oh, and most of them apparently hate fluorescent bulbs. I'm not sure if that's because they value human beings so much or if its their love of America that causes them to despise the things; but either way, I guess I'll have to throw mine out too. The comments at Redstate will explain why; though be careful. It's possible the dumb is contagious.

1 comment:

Mumphrey Bibblesnæð said...

I myself am a liberal, and like any good liberal, I hate people and my country. I mean, it would really suck for all people to have half a shot at leading fulfilling, long lives, while doing something good for society, and to not have to worry about starving or being killed in a war or that you have no chance to have a say in how your country is run. I know I'd hate to live that way. People HATE freedom, safety, comfort and the reasonable hope that tomorrow might be a little better than today. That's why I support politicians who try to bring those things about. Because I hate people. What good liberal doesn't?