Tuesday, November 04, 2008

John Galt the Plumber

Just because I like the sound of my own writing so much, I think I'll repost two comments I wrote elsewhere.

Roy at Alicublog cites an absurdist post by Instapundit, where Insty posts reader comments sent to him by people who insist that they're going to "go John Galt" and start producing less of whatever it is they do if Obama gets his tax proposal passed next year; and might even leave the country if some saavy tax haven lures them to a conservative paradise. Apparently, 3% extra in tax completely removes any profit motive in these people, and several of them say they have already started scaling back their business, just in case. And so I decided to write my own sad story:

Well, I was about to buy my boss's horseshit factory, which employs fifteen million people and accounts for over 13% of all tax revenues, but after having discussed Obama's tax proposal with him the other day, we both decided it was best to just burn the factory down with all the employees inside and become invisible bank robbers like we were during the 90's. We'll just have to get accustomed again to living frugally, like we used to do; using nail clippings for razor blades and paperclips for clothes. We save all our loose hairs in a jar, just in case, and can only go out after dark. Thanks Obama! This is what you drove us to.

And believe it or not, that's a true story and horseshit factories really are more profitable than they're usually given credit for. And over at Bagnews, we find some more analysis of Joe the Plumber, in which Bagnews writes of Joe's "righteous superiority that is off-the-charts." And naturally, I had to defend Joe, writing:

"Righteous superiority"?? This is Joe the Plumber we're talking about here, so quit your elitist claptrap and bow down to the man who got Obama tap dancing on his doorstep like a black Fred Astaire. And sure, it's easy for you to act all high & mighty, but poor Joe was about to buy a million-dollar business and begin his ascent out of the pipes and into the American Dream...before it was dashed forever by The One's socialistic rise up Bill Ayers' pantskirt in his fevered quest to destroy America and everything holy.

And sure, some people may say that Mr. the Plumber actually benefits from Obama's Marxist tax fantasies, but only if he stays poor and downtrodden. And now that Obama has forever put ownership of a multi-million dollar plumbing business out of Joe's reach, the paltry welfare he'll receive in return will be but cold ashes to Joe's insatiable skinhead desires. Joe could have been a great businessman, perhaps with a few underpaid Joes of his own on the payroll, but now all he can be is a spokesman for the very people you mock with your very existence. So bravo, Mr. Bagnews. Bravo. You may have taken Joe down a peg, but with him, you have taken down every man that Joe represents: The American Workingman. I hope you're proud of yourself. I hope you're really proud.

And on a final note, I'd just like to mention that it didn't go unnoticed that TPM essentially stole my Election Day prediction, even if they did add a decimal point to hide the fact. Oh, and not that I wanted to jinx anything, but I assure you that I not only have a bottle of champagne waiting for tomorrow (today), but plan on eating a big ol' New Year's style turkey dinner, complete with the black eyed peas for good luck. Out with the old, in with the new, don't ya know.

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