Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Doctor Biobrain Was Right

Yet again, I was right.  I was proved fucking right.  And what thanks do I get?  Not a damn thing.  I predicted this victory back in January, after Obama's win in Iowa, and firmly believed this is how things would go down.  But nothing.  Nobody cares about poor Doctor Biobrain. 

And so it's on to RedState, and I've got to tell you, I think I now have a new favorite RedStater.  Sure, Moe Lane has the cool name and the huge inferiority complex.  But I now think I've got to go with Dan "Puttin' the Laugh In" McLaughlin as my new favorite.  Not only has he been a perennial favorite here at Biobrain's Response, but his latest call to action after admitting McCain's defeat in the election was simply stellar.

The problem for McCain was always that the Republican agenda was all talk and no action.  It was just a bunch of feelgood rhetoric that had no actual basis in reality.  It was all about Family Values, Preserving America, and preventing the gays from getting "special" rights.  It was a Smoke & Mirrors campaign that was heavier on the smoke than the mirrors.  And while that was absolutely great at winning elections, it totally sucked ass in the Getting Things Done department.  

And so, they didn't get shit done.  And after many years of controlling Congress and then the Whitehouse, people finally realized that Republicans just weren't getting shit done.  it was all a bunch of empty hoohaw, and voters just weren't going to take it anymore.  And so, in short, McCain's problem was that he was the Republican candidate in the year that people realized the Republicans were totally full of shit.  This wasn't Bush's fault or McCain's.  This wasn't just about the war, or the financial crisis, or healthcare, or any of the other issues most folks keep citing as the reason McCain lost.  It was the whole kit and caboodle.  

It was Republicanism they rejected, and in turn, the empty conservatism the Republicans used as the basis for their empty rhetoric.  The empty rhetoric that appealed to these fools.  John McCain didn't lose this election.  Republicans lost this election.  And we always knew this.  President Bush was a symbol of Republicans and conservatives; he wasn't their downfall.  He fell because they all fell.

Conservatism Never Fails

And so what else would Dan McLaughlin write about, than to suggest that, once again, conservatism was failed?  Because that's what he imagines the problem was.  In his reality, McCain was a moderate that somehow failed to connect with moderates because he wasn't a far-right conservative.  And no, that doesn't really make sense to me either.  In fact, that makes the opposite of sense to me.  To me, you use a moderate to win moderate voters.  But to McLaughlin, moderates will only vote for far-right conservatives.  And again, that doesn't really make sense to me either.

And of course, Dan's problem is that conservatives were told to believe that Obama was a far-left liberal Marxist Muslim.  And in the conservative world, it somehow makes sense that extremists appeal to moderates by being fringy.  But in the real world, Obama was a centrist-liberal who appealed to everyone by being centrist-liberal.  And McCain helped with this because he kept trying to appeal to the base that Dan suggests was somehow crucial to McCain's win.  In other words, McCain gave Obama the audience he needed, as a way of appealing to the McLaughlins that McCain already had.

And look, McLaughlin's argument makes no sense at all.  He's suggesting that McCain lost because he was a moderate who only won the base states.  But if it was his moderateness that lost the election, he should have won the moderate states and lost the base states.  But he didn't.  He won the states he was expected to win, and lost a few moderate states that he should have won.  Why?  Because he kept trying to appeal to the people who were already going to vote for him: Dan's people.

In other words, McCain wasted all his time appealing to the people McLaughlin wanted him to appeal to, while ignoring everyone else.  And he suffered egregiously for this.  And what's McLaughlin's solution?  More cowbell.  Seriously, these guys couldn't be worse parodies if they tried.  They were McCain's doom, while believing that McCain needed to use them more.  I just wish they had.

Meanwhile, I'm drunk off my ass because the Dems finally did what I've always thought they should do, and they had a HUGE victory.  The type of game changing victory that won't even be understood for generations to come.  And what thanks do I get for having totally predicted this?  Nothing.  Doctor Biobrain gets nothing.  I predicted all of this, and all I get is bragging rights.  Hardly sufficient.  I expect restitution.  I fought a whole lot of damn assholes who insisted that Obama couldn't win, and he ends up with the big victory I predicted all along.  Bigger than the Big Dog got.  And for this, I get ignored.  

But at least I got drunk. That's something.

3 comments:

Doctor Biobrain said...

Wow, I woke up this morning thinking that I needed to finish this post before I forgot about it, and now see that I DID finish it. I really WAS drunk last night. I was fine with the wine and the champagne, but I really wish I hadn't decided to finish off the vodka I've had sitting around for awhile.

Wow, what a mistake and it didn't even taste good. And even now, I only have faint memories of writing the second half of this, and only because I'm reading it. But hey, it looks pretty good to me.

Faded said...

Ick, ick. Champagne, Wine AND Vodka?! Good thing you're a physician.

You beat my prediction. You won. Kudos. Bragging rights is ALL There is in Amerka, doncha know?

Tehanu said...

I care!