What I Learned From Rush Limbaugh

Media Matters just posted one of those Limbaugh ramblings that I typically try to avoid, but gee, it really was quite educational. He was answering a caller’s question about why Democrats actively pursue the gay and black vote, while Republicans ignore the much larger conservative vote. And his answer really was quite helpful. Right off the bat I now know that gays and blacks are a voter bloc. But that wasn't all. Far from it.

What I learned:

A lot of money is coming from Democratic kooks, and not just the blacks.

Saying that someone will “bend over, grab the ankles, and say, ‘Have your way with me,’” is an innocent figure of speech which does not require delicacy.

Republicans say “To hell with you, you wacko nuts” to their base.

George Soros is running the whole kook-fringe base.

The traditional conservative base is not just the so-called evangelical Christian Right or the pro-lifers or whatever.

Rich country club Rockefeller types in the Northeastern Corridor are embarrassed of pro-lifers in the South, which is why they’re abandoning conservatives.

Democrats will grovel to make sure blacks and gays support the party.

The politically active gay community on the left is worth a lot of money and sends the Democrats more money than you can possibly imagine.

Pro-lifers donate a lot of money to the Republicans, but it still embarrasses them.

Democrats are never embarrassed about anything.

Democrats have never set any standards for themselves.

Democrats think that everybody’s a victim, even other Democrats.

Democratic victims are fighting for their rights, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Democrats think the conservative right is trying to deny people rights, blah, blah, blah, you see.

The left-wing base is not even talked about by Mickey Edwards.

The anti-war kook fringe is huge.

Many 527 groups are raising money left and right so Democrats will cater to them left and right.

Democrats are scared to death if 527 groups take their money and go away or go to a third party or what have you.


And finally, the overall lesson from Limbaugh is:

It’s bad that the Democratic Party caters to people who support them.

It’s bad that the Republican Party doesn't cater to people who support them.

If a political party does what its base wants, it's pandering for votes and money. Other than that, the parties don't care about what people want and they can only behave selfishly.


But of course, all these lessons really left my head swimming. I mean, don't Republicans WANT money in politics? Is it possible to have a “huge” fringe group? And who the hell is Mickey Edwards? I guess I’m going to have to start tuning in to learn the answers to these questions and more. And hell, I’m just hoping he can clue me into how I can get some of that sweet-ass Soros money. I’ve been blogging for over three years now, and I haven’t seen check one from Boss George. Not one.

If he doesn't watch it, I'll take my blog and go away or go to a third party or what have you. And if the Democrats bend over, grab their ankles, and tell me to sodomize them, I might not do it. You heard me. I might turn down their request for anal sex. That's how serious I am about this. Thanks, Rush. I now realize I'm part of a huge fringe and that my party listens to what I have to say, unlike his, which is embarrassed by his listeners.

As a sidenote, do you think there's any possibility that Rush actually listens to his shows, or do you think that's what the Oxycon is for? To bury the shame.