There has GOT to be something wrong with the waterpipes in the Whitehouse. Or perhaps there's black mold or some sort of toxic germs hiding in the walls or airducts. Or something. I mean, Reagan got Alzheimer's. George Sr became clueless and out of the loop after just four years (and eight waiting in the wings). Bill certainly had some significant lapses in judgment towards the end of his presidency and afterwards, and now this:
Sure, this isn't even close to being the biggest embarrassment of Bush's presidency, but jesus this stuff happens too often. And it's not just that he mentioned his Philippine cook like that, or the awkward way he said it, which really made it sound like this was the absolutely best thing he could say about any Filipino. At least the Philippine president thought it was funny. The last thing we need is for another country to hate us due to Bush's stupidity.
But it wasn't just the mildly racist back-handed compliment. It was really the whole package, including the awkward and slow way he said the entire thing. As if he had said it earlier and it had gone over so well that he made the mistake of trying it again, but immediately realized he was having trouble finding the exact words so that it wouldn't sound as bad as he was afraid it might sound. And so he kept meandering his way through it, knowing that he'd only find out afterwards if he had been offensive.
And perhaps the worst is how he still, after eight years as president, looks like the little boy who doesn't want to be there, wearing that stuffy suit. Like he can't wait for everyone to leave so he can get back to playing Halo 3, or whatever it is he does with his free time.
Household Products That Can Kill You
And sure, being president must be taxing; even if you're a boob who lets your VP do all the hard work. But perhaps there's more to it than that. People used to think arsenic was a medicine and put radium in toothpaste, and thought they were being really clever. And is it possible we've discovered all the dangerous chemicals that exist? I think not. Who's to say that there isn't some sort of nasty-ass shit poisoning our presidents that's been a part of the Whitehouse for a long time?
Think about it, what president left the Whitehouse as sharp as he was when he got in? None that I know of. Carter, Ford, Nixon, LBJ, which of these men didn't leave office broken and confused? Hell, Ike lived nine years after he left office, yet the only things Wikipedia said he did after he left office was buy a house at Gettysburg, speak at the 1964 Republican National Convention, and do a political ad with Barry Goldwater. So I ask you, do these sound like the actions of a normal person? I think not.
And sure, maybe it's the great burden of the office. Maybe the weight of the world is just too much to put on one man's shoulders. Maybe it will crush even the strongest of presidents and turn our Doofus-in-Chief into complete putty. But maybe, just maybe, it's something in the air ducts or the waterpipes. And isn't that the best defense of Bush yet?