Monday, September 18, 2006

Instapundit Loves Lewinsky?

I’ve got to agree with Alex Koppelman at Meta-Media when he suggests that there may be a real possibility of Glenn Reynolds, Mr. Instapundit, being a certifiable nutcase serial killer who enjoys torturing old people with dirty pictures of his alligator.  I’m not saying that I know that first-hand.  How could I?  I barely have enough time to scratch-out a blogpost or two a day; forget about scouring his creepy basement for endangered senior citizens.  And for all I know, they may enjoy seeing dirty pictures of his pandas while he dances naked to ABBA.  I don’t know.  I’m just saying that it’s a possibility that someone might want to consider dealing with before it’s too late.

And can you really know for sure what he’s doing with those scissors he bought?  I mean, really?  Or that he’s only used those knives of his for cooking purposes?  Of course not.  And while I have no cold-hard “clinical” proof that he doesn’t whack-off each night to his Bill and Monica dolls; I think I’ll decline any invitation for a sleep-over at the Reynolds household all the same.  

Because you never know.  Knowledge is an allusive thing which one can never be too sure of, while speculation smells so nice and fits like a glove.  I mean, Insty could have nukes himself, for all we know.  Or he could be an Iranian.  I’ve never seen him, nor do I personally know of anyone who has.  Perhaps he’s a computer.  Or worse…

I’m not saying I know, simply that you don’t either.  And a little of your ignorance can go a long way to paying my bills.

Update: Apparently, I’m not the only one curious about Reynolds’ supposedly zombie-free basement.  Scroll down…

Second Update: I would like to clarify that I’m merely engaging in speculation, and have made clear that I have no evidence for any of this.  But then again, where is any of the evidence to the contrary?  There are a lot of accusations swirling about Mr. Reynolds with nary a denial in sight.  I wonder -- does Karl Rove already have proof of all this, and is Insty being successfully blackmailed?


John of the Dead said...

Hiya, Doc. It's your resident Grammar Nazi once more. I think you meant to state that knowledge is "elusive," in that it is often hard to capture. The use of "allusive" means that it hints at, or alludes to, other knowledge, which while true, does not quite flow with the rest of the post.

Stupid spell check! Sure, allusive is spelled correctly, but it's not quite the right word. Darn you, homonyms!

Say, Doc, are you in the market for an editor? I could be your Perry White! Do you prefer "Great Cesar's ghost!" or "Great shades of Elvis!"?

Doctor Biobrain said...

Great Cesar's Ghost was always a favorite of mine, right up there with "Good Gravy!". And while I'm not so concerned with an editor for proofreading, a hard-nosed Perry White really might help me finish all the damn unfinished posts I've got sitting around. There must be at least fifty of them by now.

As for Grammar Nazis, at least I know someone's actually reading this stuff. Sometimes, I just think I'm talking to myself. And too often, I reread what I wrote and kind of wish I were. Or should that be "was"? This word thing is sooo hard. I prefer talking.