Guest Post by Doctor Snedley
Greetings liberals, and welcome to the call for submissions for the eleventh bi-weekly Carnival of the Liberals. For those unfamiliar with me, I am Doctor Snedley, Doctor Biobrain’s personal assistant, as well as Glenn Greenwald’s favorite conservative (not that he’s said as much, but the guy has linked to me twice this year (though he erringly credited both to Biobrain), so I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m a hit with the guy).
Due to an unfortunate turn of events, I will be hosting this Carnival of Losers which will be posted on Wednesday, April 26. As usual, the cut-off for entries will be April 24 (Monday night), probably at midnight central time; though, this being a carnival of liberals, I will expect stragglers.
Below are a few topics that I encourage for discussion:
1. If you weren’t a treasonous dog, what would you do to secure our borders? Each response should begin with “If I weren’t a treasonous dog…”
2. How many rights do you need to take away from the real Americans before your perverted sense of entitlement is sated? And do you really think it’s proper for you to enviously attack the very people who continually give you the ability to attack them? And what about the children?
3. Do you really plan to destroy America, or are you just preparing the work for the next generation? Give specifics.
Bonus Question: List your three biggest mistakes regarding the Iraq War. You guys kept getting on President Bush’s case about him not listing his mistakes. Now it’s your turn.
Naturally, I won’t hold it against you if you’re not capable of responding to any of these topics. After all, Democrats haven’t been able to stay on-topic for the past two decades; I don’t see any reason to expect it now. Besides, it’s not so easy when you don’t have the echo chamber to rely upon, and thinking is hard work. But I guarantee that anyone brave enough to give truthful responses to any of the above topics will be included in the carnival, even if I have to break carnival rules (as is my right as a card-carrying Republican) and allow bonus entries.
Other than that, I have only one other criterion for winners: No dummies. I know, I know. This IS a carnival of liberals, and it is supposed to represent the very zenith of current liberal thought. But I grade on a curve and won’t hold it against you just because you’re ideologically-blind fools who want to destroy everything good, holy, and righteous. Needless to say, it’s a very gentle curve.
Anyhoo, don’t forget to submit soon and often. You’ve got three ways to do it, so you really kind of suck if you can’t get it done on time:
At Carnival Headquarters
Or by email: email@example.com
And remember, you can’t win if you don’t enter. And even that’s probably not enough.
(Editor’s Note: For non-Biobrain regulars, it can be safely assumed that Doctor Snedley is a parody and is not ruining your precious carnival.)