Sunday, August 31, 2008

The Well-Heeled President

Maureen Dowd may know snark, but she doesn't know her Lifetime movies. Because for as much as I agree with her that the Palin pick totally sounds better suited for a chick flick than reality, there are a few problems with the real story.

First off, in the movie version, she'd have to be a Democrat, though her party affiliation would merely be alluded to and never explicitly stated. Secondly, her Republicanish opponent would have to be a stuffy jerk in a suit with bad though hidden corruption problems; not an uppity black man that people don't trust. And her running mate would need to be a lovable though slightly aloof older guy with a touch of senility; rather than an unlovable jerk with a touch of senility. (A running gag would be that she keeps having to fix his tie or remove the toilet paper from his shoe. And she'd also get him to dress better with a better haircut, including the ubiquitous music montage as he tries on different looks.)

But the rest of this story writes itself. People would immediately love her quirky and refreshing manner which would offend all the stuffy Washington-types, but the general public would immediately side with her. And this would pull out an unexpected shift in the polls, thus leading to a squeaker victory on Election Day due to a last minute scandal that was orchestrated by her opponent that almost sinks her until her adorable son saves the day by uttering something that is as practical as it is cute. And then, as Dowd suggests, the president chokes on a pretzel or something and leaves her in charge. Needless to say, hilarity would ensue.

And were I a producer looking to sell something to LMN, this is the exact sort of thing I'd come up with. But in reality, this was a damn crappy decision that is an embarrassment to everyone involved. I mean, when Maureen Dowd comes out blasting with both snark barrels on your VP choice before they've done anything wrong, you screwed up. For as much as Dowd has to invent shit in order to keep up her Kewl Kidz snark, McCain totally made her job a lot easier.

And yes, the title of my post is the working title for the movie I wrote, so if any of you happen to work for the Lifetime Movie Network, call me.


Armadillo Joe said...

Just now saw that you dropped in at my blog last week. Sorry I missed you.

I put something in comments a few months back when I first added you to my blog roll, but you were busy, I was busy, I never followed up... you know how things get sometimes.

I hope this isn't as awkward for you as it is for me.

I will try to do better in the future. I have some serious traffic, at least three or four hits (a month) that could potentially click over and check you out. I'm positive, but I think my readership outside of this apartment is up to seven or eight.

I like your work otherwise and I'll keep clicking here. I hope you'll want to do the same.

Doctor Biobrain said...

Well Armadillo, I'm even worse at keeping up social contacts online than I am in real life, and I'm really not good at it in real life; so it's no biggie. I found your link because somebody did indeed click through from your blog.

Oh and I went ahead and added your blog to my blogroll, if for no other reason than I like your name and thought it'd be cool to have there. And lucky you, I use alphabetical order so you come first. I can't promise that anyone will click through, but it can't hurt.

Armadillo Joe said...

Thanks for that. One of my New Year's resolution's was to be better at social and internet contacts. So far, well, so far...

See you on the inter-webs