Jesus christ, why Hawaii? Of all the places a Democratic presidential nominee could have gone on vacation, why the elitist celebrity paradise in the Pacific? Why not get working on a potato farm in Idaho like a normal American? Or clearing brush in the hot Texas sun (I actually have some yardwork in my backyard that could certainly use some presidential attention). But for god's sake, not Hawaii; especially not during the Olympics, when most Americans are feverishly following politics.
Real Americans never go to Hawaii. Never. They go to Myrtle Beach or Branson. They drive around in a big RV, looking for inane landmarks while their kids fight over which Shrek movie they're going to watch next. And they all have a miserable time and thank god once they get home and vow to never leave their house again. That's what an American vacation is all about.
But no, Mr. Arugula Celebrity is too good for an American vacation. No, sir. He's got to be Mr. Fancy Pants and go on the sort of celebrity vacation that most Americans can't even fathom. And needless to say, most Americans will hate him for this. It's over. Obama's finished. Now that he's gone there, he might as well stay, as there's no point in him even running anymore. He might be the president America needs, but they sure as hell ain't going to want him now.
Update: Holy shit, can I call them or what. I wrote this post a few hours ago but got distracted and didn't post it, and sure enough, I now read that Cokie Roberts suggested that Obama should have gone to Myrtle Beach because it's more American than Hawaii. Too funny.