Sunday, August 17, 2008

The Fantasy Dictator

Atrios quotes a story about how Bush promised we'd send humanitarian aid to Georgia without having first determined if such aid is logistically possible (it doesn't seem to be), and asks about the "magic transporter beam" that could have made this work. And what's sad is that magic really is the only way that conservative ideas work. It's all about will power and making things happen because you want them to happen. Conservatism sounds so good because the only thing you have to lose is reality. After that, the world truly is your oyster.

Sure, modern society and infrastructure seem extremely expensive and countries that don't pay for this stuff don't get to have it and are therefore sucky places to live, but screw it, this stuff would all be free if the government would stop taxing us to make us pay for it all. Even our exploding healthcare problems would vanish overnight if only we got rid of health insurance and government subsidies and made everyone pay with gold coins and fairy dust, or something like that. Free CAT scans for everyone!!

And let me tell you, I deal with this kind of stuff every day. I've got a seven-year-old daughter who still thinks I can do just about anything, as long as she asks for it strongly enough, and it still makes me feel like a bad daddy when I can't do it. But even still, she's definitely starting to get it. Sure, once she sets her heels in on demanding stuff, she's pretty stubborn about backing down. But she's definitely learning to separate the possible from the impossible and only demanding stuff that I really can get her.

But not our conservatives. They live in a world where everyone can be rich, if only we weren't taxed too much. They want everything and they want it now. Bush can look at a map on the wall and see how tiny everything is and just send in a bunch of hospital ships without even needing to roll the Risk dice to see if they'll let him in. His wish is our command; that's what it means to be the Commander-in-Chief. Things sure are a heck of a lot easier now that he's the dictator.

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