Thursday, September 10, 2009

Honest Weblog Awarded to ME!!!!!

Holy shitball, people. I won an award! No, I'm not referring to the Carnival of the Liberals #96, which I also won. No, I'm talking about a much more personal award. That's right, as the title suggests, I won the Honest Weblog Award. And let me tell you, I was so awed by this win that it took me a whole week to bother mentioning it. The great and powerful Broadway Carl bestowed this great honor upon me and six lesser blogs and now I'm stuck blessed with having to do the same to seven other lucky bastards.

Here are the rules of this esteemed award, as copied-and-pasted from Broadway's own blog:
1. You must brag about the award.

2. You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to that blogger.

3. You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.

4. Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with the Honest Weblog Award.

5. List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself.

And yeah, it's obvious I already did the first one. I mean, any award I'm gracious enough to acknowledge is clearly bragging material. But if that's not self-evident, I'll give another "yippie!" to express my gratitude for this chain letter great honor. And I've also done number two, though not in my trousers (yes, pun intended).

Ten Honest Things About Myself

Because things about me are clearly more to my interest than things about other people, I'm skipping numbers three and four and heading right into number five: Ten honest things about myself. But as it turns out, to stay truly "honest" with myself (and honesty is the name of the award here), I'm forced to add an eleventh entry. I'm sure you'll agree.

So here are eleven honest things you might not know about me.

I'm smarter than I pretend to be.

I'm even funnier in person.

I'm so handsome that you'll assume I'm joking when I say that I really am incredibly handsome.

I've advanced enough to have moved beyond basic humility.

I cook.

Women want me.

Men want to be me.

My breath smells like sex.

I'm really good at video games.

I play the guitar.

And lastly, I really am incredibly handsome.

Blogs I Respect

As for number three, I'm in a bit of a bind, as I don't actually read seven blogs. I only have time to read three blogs on a regular basis, none of which, I suspect, would be the least bit interested in receiving this award. But hey, rules are rules, so let's see if I can find seven bloggers to name.

First up, I'll just take the easy road by naming the American Nihilist blog. Yes, it's cheating, as I actually write for this one, but it really is the most brilliant blog around. Why else would I deem it worthy of my best material?

My second choice was going to be Cannablog, written by longtime reader (and some time nemisis) Mahakal (aka, Mike Goldman), because I liked the blog's theme, but I see he stopped blogging about a year ago. So instead, I picked the most interesting link on his page (except my own, of course), and went with Dr. Frank Lucido's Bully Pulpit: Everyone's Entitled to My Opinion, solely based upon the name. It looks like Dr. Lucido has posted a total of seventeen entries on his blog, so perhaps this grand victory will encourage the good doctor to get off his stoned ass and write a little more often.

Nextly, I decided to look through my blogshares account, to see who the important people linking to me are, so I could return the favor. But fuck me if most of the important folks linking to me aren't blogging anymore. I feel like I'm Highlander here. But I found Capitol Annex, which is a local Austin blog which happens to feature me prominently on their blog list, and since anything associated with Austin is inherently superior to anything outside of Austin, it made my list.

And let's see, where else can I take this. How about Neural Gourmet? He started the Carnival of the Liberals, which makes him fairly awesome. And his blog really is pretty cool (not that I've ever read it), so I guess I'll just pretend I find it "brilliant" and move on. There, that gets me over the halfway point.

Here's one you wouldn't expect. It's Beth's New, Improved Austin Bloggery. I actually know this person. Sure, there are no politics involved with this blog and I generally don't read it, but hey, it's an Austin person and that makes up for everything.

And since I'm desperate, let's just go with Publius' old blog, Legal Fiction. Sure, nothing's been posted there since Pub sold out in 2007 and moved to a blog which shall remain nameless, but I still get a fair amount of traffic from Legal Fiction, so I thought I'd include it here for old time's sake. As a sidenote, I only got added to his blogroll because I kept pestering him so much about it while drunk. Drunken harassment is way underrated.

And that leaves me with one last blog, so what else could I go with but my own. That's right, bitches, I'm picking And Doctor Biobrain's Response Is... as my seventh brilliant blog. So suck on that!

And for all you loyal readers who were hoping I'd pick your blog, trust me, you didn't deserve it.


Doctor Biobrain said...

In all honesty's sake, I'm not exactly positive that my breath smells like sex all of the time. So if you happen to sneak up on me and sniff my breath, don't be surprised if it smells like tuna. But then again, tuna can smell pretty sexy. Especially if you're a cat.

Mike Goldman said...

I haven't actually stopped blogging per se, I just moved on to other spaces...

Doctor Biobrain said...

Off-Topic, but I just wanted to mention that this blog was awarded the Honest Weblog Award by yours truly, for excellence in blogging.

And let me tell you, you totally deserve it, man. I really mean that. This really is the greatest f-ing blog I've ever read in my entire life and I've read a LOT of f-ing blogs. While other bloggers meander around the point, pussy-footing with the truth while playing footsy with ambiguity, you really nail the hammer on the head and make 'em all bleed out of their eyes until they're begging for mercy. And the best part about it: You do it with a smile. And that's just not something you get anywhere else.

Yes sir, indeed. When one wants the unvarnished truth, one goes to Doctor Biobrain. And I'm not just saying that because I'm you. I'm saying that because I wouldn't dare attempt to give you anything but the purest of the hardcore truths. You deserve nothing less.

Doctor Biobrain said...

Facebook ain't blogging! Hell, I still haven't figured out what Facebook is for, besides making people feel stupid for being the last one to join the website. I was the last person to join MySpace, just in time to have everyone laugh at me for joining MySpace; and I'm quite positive the same will happen with Facebook. And before I know it, everyone will ask me why I'm not on Futzback yet or wanting me to sign their flarbs on Torbnoodle; and then I'll just have to shoot myself, which is all they were interested in in the first place!

And yeah, I actually joined Facebook awhile back and even have a few friends (it disturbs me that anyone I knew was able to find my page). I just haven't figured out what to do with it yet. I don't even have time to properly fill a blog and Twitter page. I think I might just sit this one out and join Torbnoodle once that starts up. Then, I'll be cutting edge, bitches!

Neural Gourmet said...

Congratulations Doc. I couldn't think of a more deserving, or humble, person to receive this honor. And thanks for choosing moi, even if my blogitude has been more like suckitude for the last year. Maybe this will even inspire me to start blogging at Neural Gourmet again.