Wednesday, October 17, 2007

S-CHIP Confessions

Dearest readers, I have a confession. I am a fraud and a phony. You see, at one point in my life I had my kids on S-CHIP. By itself, that's not a problem, were I homeless ex-stockbroker who was ruined by excessive taxation and a rampant case of lumbago brought upon by my pot smoking neighbors. But no. Not only did I own a home which was worth more than I paid for it, but I owned two cars, three televisions, and six cats. That's right, six cats. In other words, I was loaded!

And there I was, feeding my six cats and watching my three televisions; all the while Johnny Taxpayer was footing the bill for an expense that should have been all mine. Sure, I could try to explain that I was only working for a tiny bookkeeping firm at the time, and that while they did offer insurance, it was still far too expensive for us to get; but what's the point? I'd only be fooling myself. After all, I could have sold those three televisions, only one of which I actually paid for. And who needs electricity when you've got your health? But no. I made some bad, bad choices, like foolishly purchasing a house which greatly increased in value, and now I'm finally willing to admit to that. Take me away, boys.

What's that? Nobody's interested in my story because I haven't been used by the Democrats to show the real world implications of this policy? Republicans were only freaking out because they saw Dems stealing their props, and realized they couldn't counter this with an honest rebuttal? Ok, then. Thanks. Pretend I said nothing. I'm still safe...for now. I'll just keep my mouth shut and my eyes shutter.

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