I grant you all immunity, so just tell me what you did in the comments section and you'll receive full protection; no matter how heinous the crime. And if you only want to give your side of the story, or don't really want to go into the full details, that's fine by me. Just so long as I get you to talk.
SPECIAL DEAL: For a limited time, confess to one crime, get absolved for a lapse in ethics free!
And don't forget to check out our hot deals on gross negligence!!
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