Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Satan's Accountant

Via Carpetbagger, I see that having run out of beloved children’s characters to denounce, Jerry Falwell’s picked himself a new target: The Weather Channel.

As Carpetbagger says:
OK, but why is The Weather Channel working with Hollywood and liberals to “get us in a tizzy”? Don’t worry, Falwell can explain that, too. As he sees it, there’s a three-prong strategy in place: ” (1) To Create Major Economic Damage to America. (2) The Desire To Change the Subject Concerning the World’s Moral Bankruptcy. (3) Most importantly, it is Satan’s Attempt to Re-direct the Church’s Primary Focus.”

I should probably note that these aren’t mutually exclusive — Falwell appears to believe that The Weather Channel/Liberal axis may be working alongside Satan.

Actually, this is kind of embarrassing, but I really have been working with Satan. He’s a client of mine. Really nice guy too and his books are impeccable. Which kind of makes sense, as anyone who’s ever taken an accounting class will swear it was all invented by Satan.

But for the record, global warming isn’t a hoax. And while redirecting the Church’s Primary Focus is one of the side-benefits, he’s really only doing it for the better weather. He figures that he spends so much more time here than his main competitor, so he might as well make things more comfortable for himself. Thank god the major corporations are on-board doing all the work. And yes, he does find it funny that Falwell would be assisting him in his efforts; though this certainly isn’t the first time…or the last.

I’ll leave you with an H.L. Mencken quote that Falwell cited, without a hint of irony:
The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed -- and hence clamorous to be led to safety -- by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

I guess Falwell didn’t realize that was a warning, and not a suggestion.

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