I watched Titanic last night and as I was waking from a deep slumber this morning, I came to the sudden realization that it had disproven evolution. That’s right: Titanic disproves evolution. At least, as far as giraffes are concerned.
You see, for as good as a giraffe’s neck is at preventing it from drowning, those freaky-ass things wouldn’t have made a damn bit of difference in saving any of them from dying in that ship. So they might as well not have the necks at all. And even if you had put every giraffe that had ever existed onto that ship, and they had gotten into the lifeboats at an equal percentage as the humans, not one of them would be alive today. Not one.
So what does that prove? Ipso facto, giraffes don’t exist. Not if Darwin had anything to say about it, anyway. So it looks like God wins again. It’s a crazy world and someone’s got to be blamed. I’ll start with the scientists.