Thursday, February 01, 2007

Dr. Limbaugh to the Rescue

I’m too busy right now to rewrite this, but Bibblesnæð at Drummondtown Ramblings wants to know why Rush Limbaugh keeps doing what he’s doing.  And so I wrote a comment to put on his blog, but decided to screw him over and just post it here instead.  You people deserve it.  So why does Rush keep doing what he’s doing?

Three words: Oxycon, Oxycon, Oxycon.

Beyond that, what choice does he have?  He's a paid shill.  Were he to stop shilling, he won't be paid and he’d quickly slip into the world of forgotten has-beens.  He was a no-name DJ before he became the Voice of America, and were he to stop shilling, he might not even be able to get the DJ job back.  Even now, with the Republican Party slipping ever deeper into oblivion than ever, Rush Limbaugh remains more important and powerful than he had any hopes of being.

And I don't know if he ever mentions this (as I never listen to his hellish show), but he used to blame himself for bad-mouthing Bush Sr., and thus helping get Clinton in the Whitehouse.  And he vowed to never do that again.  But he used to be a lot more independent, back in the day.  It wasn't until he went BIGTIME that he became such a whore for the GOP.  They give him his marching orders, and he still takes them.  And while I've never had such a soul-sucking job as Limbaugh's, I've never gotten paid the same either.  And honestly, if someone offered me the millions that he gets, I might just take them up on it (hint, hint).

But that one’s just too easy.  People sell-out.  It happens.  But the real question is why anyone listens to that crap.  But I guess that one’s pretty easy too.  It feels good.  Rush and most of his supporters are whiney-assed titty babies who are upset that their lives aren’t living up to how they were led to believe they would be.  White men used to roam the range, picking off Injuns and Negros to their heart’s content.  That’s how it happened in those movies and TV shows they watched as children, and now they’ve been led to believe that that’s how things really were...back before everyone got all uppity and started demanding equal rights.  

Everything used to be all Leave it to Beaver and Lone Ranger, with prosperity and justice for everyone (white), and now they’ve got some crappy job mixing paint at Home Depot or a dead-end job sorting mail in the mailroom (not to knock either profession).  And their wives are bitches and their husbands are lazy bastards, and they want to know why.  

Well Rush Limbaugh tells them why and assures them that it’s not their fault at all.  It’s someone else’s fault.  Always.  And if that someone would finally be denied the power they hold, order would be restored to the universe and everything would work out a whole lot better than they do now.  It’s always someone else.  And it doesn’t matter how irrelevant the guilty party is; it only takes a single monkeywrench to mess-up the whole works.

That’s a pile of crap, of course; but that’s it.  Life sucks and they want to know why.  And they simply can’t allow themselves to admit that it’s their own damn fault and that life can be as good as they want it to be, if only they’d stop trying to change everyone else and start trying to fix themselves.  But that’s not what they want to hear, so they listen to Limbaugh instead.  Think of it as the conservative version of therapy, where the therapist does all the talking and the patients nod in agreement.  They feel powerless and angry, and Limbaugh can tell them why.  And no one likes that system more than blowhard Limbaugh himself.  He’s still an important man, just as long as he keeps on talking.

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