Ideas Which Aren't Mine

You know something, I've been thinking about it and decided that there really isn't any difference between the Democrats and the Republicans. It's really all just different sides of the same damn thing, so what's the point? Sure, there are different shadings and approaches on a few issues, but I'm now cynical and don't like the fact that these people all aren't doing exactly what I want them to do. Because ideas can be broken down into two basic categories: Those that are mine and those that aren't mine, and in that context, it's obvious that neither side is really going along with all of my ideas.

And so if they're not responsive to my every need and won't choose the exact solutions for the very problems I think are most important, then I'm just going to toss them all away and insist that I'm better than all of them and that until they start obeying my every command, I will denounce both sides equally. Nay, I will hate the side closer to mine for being backsliders and/or ideological abominations. By misappropriating part of my platform, they are doing nothing but undermining my position and stealing my thunder. They are my true enemies and I will do my best to return the favor on every occasion.

When they try to steal poverty as an issue, I will blast their poverty plan for being far too inadequate. When they try to half-assedly save the environment, I will be right there to denounce them as corporate shills. No position will be safe for them. No issue will be their issue. Any issue they try to steal from me, I will steal right back with righteous indignation. And were they to steal my entire platform, I would go so extreme that they'd be begging me to pull back from the abyss of insanity. But that would do nothing but anger me further.

I won't be satisfied until I've gotten them to the point that I can drown them in a bathtub; which I will, before finally taking over the movement and making it right and holy. But until then, I wish a pox on both their houses, particularly the Democrats. While it's unlikely that my actions will do anything except help Republicans, it sure will make me feel good about myself. Tis better to be the infallible prophet than a compromised follower.