When I referred to Rush Limbaugh as "a drug-addled sex tourist with an appetite for third-world jailbait equaled only by his gluttonous eating habits," I was merely stating a common smear often spewed by leftwing vermin and other undeserving creatures who hate America and want us to fail. And my statement referencing Limbaugh's "coward-based fascism which has thoughtlessly wasted the lives of thousands of Americans, for no other purpose than to satisfy Limbaugh's ego-driven bloodlust" was simply a way of playing devil's advocate and by no means represented any actual thoughts I've ever had regarding Rush Limbaugh or Operation Iraqi Freedom.
And finally, when I wrote that Limbaugh was a "blindingly blubberous blowhard whose only concern is to line his own pockets by throwing incendiary and ugly remarks to his braindead listeners at the expense of America's future," well, I just, I don't know. I don't know where that came from. Those words were certainly not what was going through my head at the time. In fact, while I was writing that, I distinctly recall thinking about what a wonderful guy Rush is and how even his farts smell like rainbows. And I have no idea why that's not what came out and am just as perplexed as you guys are. Yes, I wrote it, but, you know, these things happen. And I'm very, very, very, very, very, very sorry and can assure all of you that it will never ever never ever never never happen again.
Oh, and did I mention that Rush has a really big wang? It's true. Really manly piece of meat he's got there. Not that I've seen it, mind you. Because that would be gay. But you can just tell from his demeanor that he's packing some real heat in those Sansabelt slacks of his. And you can tell that all the ladies want a piece of him. I almost feel like a lady myself just thinking about it. Not that I'm gay or anything. That's just how much of a pure man Rush is, that even straight men want to have sex with him. Am I gushing? I think I'm gushing. And my childhood stutter is coming back. I'll just shutup now and wait to see what awesome thing Rush tells me to do next. Whatever it is, I'm sure it'll be great!