And so I just wanted to inform you that you should be receiving a bill shortly for your portion of my bonus, based upon the total number of people who read this post. So if 100 people read this post, your portion will be $12 million. But...if only 50 people read this, you get to chip in $24 million. So, the fewer people who read this, the bigger chunk of me that you own. And I'm sure that's got to make you feel pretty damn good inside.
Invoices will be issued by the end of the week. You can promptly drop your checks in the mail or simply wait for a few of my hired goons to accept your remittance with a personal touch. That's just the kind of service you can expect from a blogger worth $1.2 billion. After all, I wouldn't have asked for it, if I didn't deserve it.