Guest Post by Doctor Snedley, Personal Assistant to Doctor Biobrain
Greetings libtards, and welcome to the call for submissions for yet another episode of the Carnival of the Liberals, the only blog carnival devoted to the unintentional mockery of all things liberal by the inflammatory fascists themselves. I’m Doctor Snedley, the personal assistant and true brain for the infamous liberal drunkard Doctor Biobrain. And what better time is there for me to host than the one year anniversary of the highest of all high holy liberal holidays. That’s right, I’m hosting the 06/06/07 Carnival of the Liberals, and there ain’t a damn thing you Satan worshipers can do about it. So suck it.
As for submission suggestions, I hold little hope you’ll be able to stay on task for this one, what with all your habitual pot smoking and rampant pedophilia, but I’ll give it a go. In honor of your high holy holiday, I’d like religious posts. But not just any religious posts. I’d like something that finally gets around to explaining why you people insist on screwing up your afterlifes in the same manner you’re screwing up your earthly ones.
And if that’s too much for you, here are a few suggested topics you can discuss:
Why do I hate myself so much that I reject my only lord and savior?
Why I won’t punch Darwin in the face when I see him in Hell.
What part of all-powerful do I not understand?
In Hell, is sunscreen enough?
Jesus hates me because…
You get the idea. Of course, I will accept other entries, though preference will naturally go to the very few who are willing to delve a little more deeply into liberal dogma and eventually reject every lie they’ve been spewing since 9/11. And don’t forget proper punctuation. I’m a big stickler for that kind of thing, but that just goes without saying. Good luck and god’s speed. You’ll need it.