Saturday, May 19, 2007

Being Real

Digby highlights a mindnumblingly silly pseudo-religious wankfest from Tim Russert, the most embarrassing thing about which is that he allowed it to be read by people who weren’t himself. Having read it, I personally feel the immense shame that he’s too oblivious to notice. That’s real sacrifice, folks. And all for you, my loyal readers.

One of the parts that got me was when he was refers to:
The heroic selfless souls on United flight #93.

Now I respect what they did, but let’s not get stupid. They didn’t know they were going to die. They were trying to save their own lives. They had gotten word that the terrorists were going to kill them all and decided to do something about it. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but let’s not pretend this was something it wasn’t. Sure, if there’s an afterlife, I’m sure these people are happy that they were able to prevent more deaths. But they didn’t know they were going to die. They were looking out for themselves and would surely have landed the plane safely if they could have. That’s why the terrorists crashed it.

And I think the reason why people like Russert won’t say that is because that makes the passengers look like failures, or cheapens their actions. But that’s entirely backwards. It cheapens their actions to turn them into something they weren’t. To turn their deeds into some sort of heroic caricature which makes their real actions look somewhat petty. As well as making the passengers of the other 9/11 planes out to be selfish bastards of some sort, for not having risked their lives to save others.

And really, this has nothing to do with the people on that plane. This has to do with dipshit Russert and his inability to find purpose in his life. He’s paid millions for a job that could be better performed by a tape recorder and a kindly Labrador. And so he’s got to find some bigger purpose for it all. No longer is he a rich tool being used by Cheney & Co. No sir. He’s doing God’s work. He’s honoring the selfless memory of heroes he can only dream he could be. Sure, he does his part by not honking at people and by asking softball questions to the people responsible for destroying our country. But if only he could do more…

But he can. He can notice other people. Real people. People who sacrifice. People who do heroic things. And by doing so, it’s like he’s doing heroic things. It’s like he’s a real person. And by doing so, it’s like he’s actually earning all those millions that these real people could only dream they could earn. And by honoring them as he does, it’s like they too are earning it all.

So it all makes sense. He collects the stories and the money and makes sense of it all for them. Because they’re all such real people that they can’t even appreciate the realness of everything they do. They need a dork like Russert to allow them to comprehend how special they really are. Hell, if anything, they owe him bigtime. And I’m sure he’ll never let them forget it; hence the wankfest Russert displayed for us today. He’s writing it for them; the people too real to be allowed to ask Dick Cheney questions. And in return, they’ll allow him to hear their stories and not honk his horn, and most of all, to feel like he really deserves all the stuff that he never possibly could. And for a soulless hack like Russert, that’s the greatest thing of all.

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