Thursday, March 30, 2006

Treasury Secretary Biobrain

Via Reuters:
Joshua Bolten, the incoming White House chief of staff, wants Treasury Secretary John Snow replaced with someone who can present the administration's message more forcefully, The New York Times reported on Thursday.

Gee, I always thought the Secretary of Treasury was supposed to do something.  You know, like run the Department of Treasury or something.  But apparently, it’s just sort of a cheerleading position which gives out forceful messages.  No wonder all the best financial minds in the country want to work for Bush.  Because they can finally stop thinking about all those boring financial things and start doing fun stuff, like giving speeches and hyping-up a financial plan that was created and implemented by other people, whose focus is entirely on political and ideological goals.  Geez, who wouldn’t want that position?

The Times quoted Republicans as saying if a new secretary was picked from Wall Street, it would help reassure financial markets that are worried about growing budget and trade deficits.

Yeah sure, we could reassure financial markets by maybe doing something about those growing budget and trade deficits, but that would actually involve doing something, and we all know how difficult that is for the Bush Administration.  Much better to just hire a better PR guy to reassure the worried markets.  And again, with the Bush Admin’s excellent track record, we’re sure to get a fully competent guy who’s ready to take all the blame for things sucking, but who won’t be able to do anything about it except to cheer a little louder.  We’re certain to get the best man for the job.

As an aside, doesn’t it seem pretty obvious at this point that the Bush Admin is simply engaging in a giant motivational experiment?  To see if optimism and hope really are enough to pull us through?  And don’t forget marketing and good public relations.  Because it really seems like that’s all they’re going for these days.  Just hype something up enough, and everything else will fall into place.  Do you think they’ll finally give up on the experiment after they blow the mid-terms, or are we in this for the full eight years?


P.S. For the record, I would gladly accept Bush’s Treasury position and do a good job at it, simply for the privilege of getting to sign my name on all the money.  That would be totally awesome.  And if the Secretary doesn’t actually get to sign each bill personally, that would certainly stop once I got the job.  And you can bet that I’d be rubbing it in everyone’s face every chance I got.  Hell, I’d walk around with unsigned bills, and then when I paid people, I’d sign the bill right there in front of them.  And they wouldn’t be able to do anything but roll their eyes and take my money.  I’d be king of the world!  Until, of course, the economy failed to improve, after which I’d get all the blame and be replaced by an even less competent cheerleader.  But until then, I’d be king of the world!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

As an aside, doesn’t it seem pretty obvious at this point that the Bush Admin is simply engaging in a giant motivational experiment? To see if optimism and hope really are enough to pull us through? And don’t forget marketing and good public relations. Because it really seems like that’s all they’re going for these days.

Why "these days," doc? That was Reagan's plan too, and the base loved him for it. Haven't you noticed that the only things anyone ever talks about Saint Reagan doing, is, he gave great speeches and 'restored hope' to America? People never mention his policies, except to say incorrectly that he lowered taxes or shrank the government. They talk about his Berlin Wall speech and Morning in America (whatever that means. I'm a night-owl, m'self). The pundits act like these were substantive achievements. What a legacy, huh? Remember when they were talking about putting him up on Mount Rushmore? How well he would fit in there!

George Washington: founded our country.
Thomas Jefferson: Opened up the West.
Abraham Lincoln: Preserved the Union, abolished slavery.
Theodore Roosevelt: busted the trusts, saved the forests.
Ronald Reagan: gave great speeches and looked good in a suit.