Friday, January 19, 2007

Screw the Nutritionists

Have I mentioned before that I don’t like nutritionists?  Well I don’t.  I know that sounds weird, but it’s true.  Because I don’t think that many of them give a flip about people’s health.  I think they just like being jerks and telling people to not eat tasty food.  And if there was a pill that would allow people to eat everything they want, not exercise, and still stay fit; I think they’d be against it.  Because they just like being jerks.

I was reminded of this while reading of a product called Z Trim, which supposedly tastes just like regular fatty stuffs, but with no fat and fewer calories.  It was developed by the USDA in the mid-90’s, and is just now getting into foods.  It’s made from the hulls of corn, oats, soy, rice and barley; and supposedly has no down side to it.  The article says that a school switched to using Z Trim in their mayonnaise, and the kids actually liked it better than the regular kind.  And if all this is true, I think it sounds great.  

But what about the nutritionists?   What would they say?  Well the article quotes one, and guess what: She doesn’t like it, and thinks we just need to make kids eat crappier food, rather than make the good food better for you.

As the article says:
Nancy Perrott, a nutritionist at Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh, said the best way to get kids to eating healthier is to offer healthy choices and limit unhealthy ones. Though she had never heard of Z Trim, Perrott raised concerns that children would get used to eating the lower-cal school foods with Z Trim and forget that most of those foods outside school have more calories.

"It is the right idea. Whether or not that's a practical solution, I'm not sure," Perrott said.

That’s right.  Screw the miracle foods.  Let’s just make them eat the crap they wouldn’t want to eat if they had a choice.  And I suspect that there are far more nutritionists with the same attitude than they’d like to admit.  She’s not considering the possibilities.  She’s looking for excuses for why it won’t work.  She’s rationalizing.  And what is her rationalization?  That kids are too stupid to handle the miracle foods and will forget that it’s not already used in everything.  And that’s in contrast to her own plan, where every kid goes home and continues to eat the same healthy foods they had at school, even when their parents buy them the other kind.  What a genius.

And let’s face it, the nutritionists might all lose their jobs if people could actually stay healthy while eating tasty food.  But I don’t think this is pure selfishness.  I think they got into this line of work because they’re fruitcake puritans who just enjoy making everyone else as miserable as themselves.  Their food tastes like crap, they waste all their free time exercising, yet they won’t really live that much longer than the rest of us anyway.  So what else is left for them other than to make us all feel bad about wanting to feel good?

And sure, maybe Z Trim isn’t the answer, though if they want people to give it a chance, they better change that dumb-ass name pronto.  That just sounds stupid and gimmicky.  But if it tastes as good as the article suggests, it probably won’t make too much of a difference and all the fatties out there will glom onto it like the cellulite on the backs of their legs.  But that’s all the more reason for the nutritionists to hate it.  Because if they hate anything, it’s people losing weight without suffering for it first.  And that’s why I don’t like nutritionists.  


Anonymous said...

There's good reason to be skeptical of miracle foods. Sometimes they sound great when they are first introduced, and no problems are identified for a number of years. Once it was believed that margerine was a healthier alternative to real butter, but it turns out that the trans-fatty acids are now the bigger deal.

Anonymous said...

What bothers me is that they tried out this experimental food on kids without their knowledge. That is unethical. What if one of the kids had food allergies?

In the real world, you have to label your products. But in the school cafeteria you can feed these kids any crap you want.

Anonymous said...

first of all, your little blurb here means nothing to anyone with half a brain. Nutritionists do not need degrees, Dieticiens need to be registered. I am sure that girl is registered if she is working at a hospital. Secondly, she was saying to eat crappiser foods. Way to generalize. She was saying that if kids have this miracle drug at school, they might think its ok to eat the crappy foods without the drug away from schoo since it has no affect on them normally.

What a terrible, stupid post you have here. You are a bitter person who should just go away, far, far, far away.

Doctor Biobrain said...

What a terrible, stupid post you have here. You are a bitter person who should just go away, far, far, far away.

Oh yeah, anonymous, that didn't sound bitter at all. I knew exactly what she was saying and criticized her for saying it. I'm guessing that you were so upset at my insult of nutritionist-types that you didn't bother trying to understand what I was saying.

As I said, her criticism of Z-Trim was based upon the premise that people are idiots and should just be forced to suffer and eat food they don't want to eat because they're too dumb to understand that the food at school is different. And that's the basic premise of most nutritionist-types. It's all about making people suffer under the guise of helping them. They don't want miracle drugs. They want us to suffer.

And you really need to improve your reading comprehension. This isn't a "miracle drug." This is tasty food made out of healthier ingredients, and if anything, that's the kind of thing nutritionists should want. The question isn't whether schools should be serving this, but rather if food companies need to start using it too.

Again, I don't know if this stuff really is tasty or healthy, but neither did this nutritionist who criticized it. She just thought we were too stupid to handle it.

Anonymous said...

What I don't understand is why you feel eating healthier foods is associated with tasting "like crap" and "suffering". If you would broaden your horizons and stop trying to make an excuse for Americans to continue to be stubborn about trying healthier alternatives and making small, healthy changes to their diet then maybe you would understand that eating healthy does not mean restricting yourself. The fact that you compared Americans relationship with healthier foods as "suffering" is immature.Making healthier choices more often than unhealthier choices is the main message dietians try to convey. As a personal friend of Ms. Perrot and as a dietitian myself I feel her response was right on. Ms. Perrot did not imply that people were "too stupid" to handle it" she simply made the point that using it is not going to cause a change in the way Americans typically eat.Could Z-Trim help save a few calories and fat here and there? Yes. However, it is not teaching children or adults to learn to pick healthier alterntaives when they are at home out in a restaurant, or in the grocery store. There will never be a "miracle drug" when it comes to eating healthier. People that are lazy and unmotivated are the ones that will continue to wait for this miracle to come along.

Doctor Biobrain said...

There will never be a "miracle drug" when it comes to eating healthier.

Spoken like a true dietitian, Anonymous. How can anyone make such a claim? Maybe in ten years time we WILL have a miracle drug that lets us eat as much as we want and stay healthy. Or fifty years, or one hundred years. But never? That's a pretty dumb prediction to make.

The fact of the matter is that dietitians like you don't want a miracle drug. They want everyone to eat like they do. They don't care if these kids are healthier eating Z-Trim. They just want everyone to learn to be like them, as a way of justifying their own life choices. Dietitians have been wrong about so much over the past fifty years that they should be laughed at whenever possible. Or are we still supposed to believe that no-fat diets are a good idea, and the calories in bread don't count? You guys are more like witch doctors than scientists.

Anonymous said...

I am all for a miracle drug to come along. However, too many times people rush to conclusions without thinking about the long-term effects of these chemical concoctions. All they care about is how long it will take them to lose 10 pounds. Nevermind the cancer that may develop 15 years later, at least I lost some weight! I would also like to know when dietitians ever made the claims that a no-fat diet is good for you and calories in bread doesn't count. That just shows me that you are another gullable cosumer taken advantage by the media and food industry. I bet when that miracle drug comes out to cure your unhealthy eating habits you will be the first one to buy and it and then be the first one to bitch afterward when you grow a third arm from taking it.(Thank you for that Ms. Perrot).

Anonymous said...

Dr. Biobrain is a fatty,
eat a salad fatty!!!!!

Doctor Biobrain said...

How dare you, 8:16PM Anonymous! The preferred term is "morbidly obese" and I wear it with pride, thank you very much.

And some day, when the Miracle Drug comes out and slims my grease-covered lard fingers into svelte pointers that can actually be used on a regular-sized keyboard, I will hunt down Mr. Dietician Anonymous, whip out my next bucket of dripping fried chicken and start munching down while he weeps at the thought of all the delicious meals he lost the opportunity to eat. And I'll laugh my forever-thin ass off. Why? Because that's what all of us fat-asses do, eat lardy meals in the hopes that someone will discover the Miracle Drug. These dieticians really do know us well.

(For the record, part of the joke here is that I have a naturally athletic build and look quite fit for a dude in his late 30's. That's right folks, I'm smart and beautiful. So suck on that!)