Thursday, December 22, 2005

Pragmatic Gods

Semi-Serious Questions:
If Bush were impeached next year, would he swear-off this whole God thing?  It seems fairly obvious that he’s a big believer, not in the Catholic/boring god I grew-up with; but in the active, does-things-for-you kind of god that he seems to believe in.  And I am quite convinced that he credits this god with the success he’s had so far.  And so, if Bush is impeached and his god can’t do anything to stop it; would he dump his god?  Shouldn’t he?  Or would he actually take personal responsibility, and blame himself for not having enough faith?  (And if his history is any indication, this is the least likely scenario, right?)  And if he did dump the god thing, would he just go atheist; or would he look for an even more pragmatic, does-things-for-you kind of religion; like voodoo?  Would he ever tell us, or would he still pretend to be staying the course?  And were he to switch gods and made it public, would his diehard followers finally stop believing in him; or are they really in this for the longhaul?  Impeachment and voodoo be damned?  And if there were a conflict between him and their god; would his diehards dump him, or the god?  Or would their heads just explode in a fit of rage; thus sparing us the burden of their existence?

More semi-serious questions:
Of what you know of Christianity and of how Bush thinks and what he’s been doing; isn’t it more likely that, if there is a supernatural being helping him, that it’d be Satan?  I’m not saying I believe that, but my understanding of religion and all that kind of stuff really would point this one into the Satan category.  Surely Bush wouldn’t know it was Satan, but he wouldn’t be Satan if he wasn’t double-dealing, right.  And how does anyone really know which supernatural being they’re dealing with?  Say there was no Yahweh; would it really be all that difficult for Zeus or Thor to impersonate him?  Or aliens; is it really impossible that aliens could have the technology to make us believe that they were the god we were looking for?  How can anyone ever know?  They can’t.  But I guess that’s just one of the reasons why sensible people just refuse to answer the god question in the first place.  When you can’t know what you’re doing, then perhaps you shouldn’t do it.  

Final questions:
Do you think that, at this point, if Satan exposed himself to Bush and made it clear that it was he who had been helping Bush this whole time, and not God, and that he was willing to help Bush save everything and make Bush look successful; would Bush just go with it and let him finish the job?  What if the alternative was to start following God’s advice, which would lead Bush to be impeached and remembered as a miserable President; how likely is he to go that route?  And how much of a difference would it make if it turned out that Rove was the Devil?  Wouldn’t that explain a few things?  And are there really people who would actually prefer for such a scenario to be possible?  I know they say they do, but I have my doubts.  Explain.

Each of these questions are two points each, and yes, I do grade on a curve.  Good luck.

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