Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Sex Preventives, and How to Prevent Them

I wasn't going to post this on the blog, but the jerkwad comment section over at The Hamster is rejecting my post for "questionable content". What a crock! So I decided to post it here instead, where all the content is questionable. The Hamster had a post about abstinence education programs and how ineffective they were. So I responded:

One problem with the abstinence-only people is that they conflate abstinence effectiveness with the effectiveness of abstinence-only programs. Yes, abstaining from sex is the most effective preventive of sex-related troubles; but no, abstinence-only programs are not very effective at preventing those things. For the most part, the only people you can convince to not have sex are the ones who aren't going to do it anyway. And too often, it's just as hard to get with the ones who do want to do it; or so I've been told.

Personally, I think the best sex prevention technique would be aversion therapy. Like shock-condoms, which zap both participants upon contact. Or lousy tasting breath mints, which drive away the opposite sex with the scent of putrid meat and raspberry vomit. And we just give this shit out free at parties, along with lots of booze and pills. I honestly don't see how this could fail at all.

And if nothing else, we can just pray for God to make sex as unpleasant as possible, which you think he would have done by now, if he really didn't want us screwing all the time. That way, he could make us more likely to follow his will, without affecting our freewill. Or, if we're so concerned about STD's and abortions, we could just pray for God to eliminate all STD's and to make reproduction only possible if you want to have a baby. Like you'd have to pray for one before intercourse; and you got one every time you tried. Or he could make it so that sex only feels good if you're married, and could make sure that you only fall in love with one person and you will instantly know when you meet that person; and that sex with other people would feel like doing it with your sister.

He's God, dammit! Would it kill him just to make things a little bit easier around here? I can deal with the eternal hellfire, but shouldn't we be free to do more to deserve it? What a crock! By the way God runs things, you'd think nobody was at the helm at all!

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