Chris Christie: Fat Slob Bully

I honestly can't imagine how anyone could think Chris Christie could be president.  Forget everything you know about him and just look at the man. Fat slob bully. No two ways about it. The first impression you get of the guy is fat slob bully. He could have the best damn policies in the world, but the guy's just not going to get around that.

And the worst thing about it is that the image is correct: Chris Christie really is a fat slob bully.  This time the book matches the cover and you know everything you need to know about him before he even opens his bully mouth.  Seriously.  He might have been able to woo the media, but that's just because he's a loud mouth who makes good copy, and they're shallow twits who think producing good copy is good journalism.  But there's no amount of lipstick in the world that's going to fix this guy.

And sure, maybe if he were better looking he'd be able to cover the personality issues up, but he'd have to be damn good looking.  We're talking Dr. Drew Baird good looking.  And guys that are Dr. Drew Baird good looking don't need to get into politics, because they can get laid on their own.  But people often tend to look like the people they really are, and Chris Christie definitely proves that rule.

Sorry to say, but looks matter. He might be attractive enough for Jersey, but that's not necessarily saying much.