On Michael Bay and Ninja Turtles

I really need to start posting more of my Facebook stuff here.  I right it there because I'm usually addressing something specific that someone said, and it's more likely to get read there.  But everything there goes down the memory hole, while I can save things forever here.  Plus, my loyal readers are often more appreciative of what I have to say.  So I'm going to start posting even more of that stuff here, with the caveat being that my FB material is generally not up to the same standards of what I like to put here.  But hey, everything can't be perfect.

And if you're just wanting to see all my FB stuff, you should just go there.  None of my stuff is private, so you can see it all anytime.  Or you can also be my friend.  Whatever.

This is something I wrote after a friend posted a link to this review of the script for Michael Bay Ninja Turtles that will now apparently never see the light of day.  If the review is any indication, we should all be grateful for that.  Anyway, here's what I wrote.  Enjoy!


I actually liked the first Transformers movie, at least until the last half hour where you couldn't even see what the hell was going on. But even then, it's because it was liberally borrowing material from much better movies, particularly Independence Day.

But as long as it was a light comedy about a high school dork scoring the hottie with the help of a group of lumbering robot aliens, it worked. It was really more like a parody of a Transformers movie, looking at the humorous side of what it'd be like if these giant robots really did get involved with humans. But as soon as they really wanted us to take it seriously as computer images battled it out on the screen, the whole film took a nosedive. That's why I never saw the other two, because it just sounded like they started up where the first left off and forgot they were making a comedy.

And all the same, as much as that kinda worked with Transformers, you can't do that with every movie. With giant transforming robots, it was funny. Ninja Turtles, on the other hand, are already too easily scoffed at, so they need to go especially hard to make them badassses right off the bat. Ninja Turtles as bumbling supporting characters and plot devices doesn't work at all. They need to be the main focus, or not be there at all.