Friday, January 29, 2010

Osama Hearts Global Warming

Al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden has called for the world to boycott American goods and the U.S. dollar, blaming the United States and other industrialized countries for global warming, according to a new audiotape released Friday.
My lord, how is this NOT something from the Onion?  So when Osama doesn't like our foreign policy towards his people, he's going to kill us and destroy our buildings, but when our policies threaten the extinction of man, he's going to boycott our stuff?  That bastard!  This means war!!!

And like, huh?  People who listen to Osama are heavy buyers of American goods?  That doesn't seem right in the first place.  I mean, his followers are pulling jihad on us, yet they're still buying our jeans?  Even Americans don't buy American, and we make the crap.  And hey, Osama, could you maybe have gone the boycott route first?  I mean, you go jihad, then boycott??  What's next, a stern letter?  Maybe you'll defriend us on Facebook?  Come on, dude.  Have a sense of proportion.

And finally, I really think the guy jumped the shark on this one, exposing that he really is a rightwing mouthpiece trying to make liberals look back.  "See, even OBL believes in Global Warming," they'll be saying.  And now the wingnuts will double-down with their beloved Ostrich Strategy, which has them ignore every problem that can't be solved with taxcuts, deregulation, or bombs. 

But now that Osama's picked sides in the Global Warming debate, I have no other choice than to do the exact opposite of what he says.  Fire of the factories, boys!  Let's smoke this mother out!!

No comments: