Friday, May 20, 2005

When Worlds Collide

Anyway, like I was saying in the last post: Hubris. A term Man-on-Dog used against Dems, is far more appropriate in explaining the Republicans' constant over-reaching. Like the Clinton impeachment catastrophe. Or the old government shutdown. Or Bush's current Social Security blunder. Or Tom Delay's lobbyist vacations, ethics rules rewrites, and whatnot. Or the push for the Iraq War. Or the nuclear option. Or just about anything else that the Republicans try to enact. They seem to believe that they're all-powerful beings who can defy long-standing rules of politics; and hubris is the proper word for it.

And their mistake is that they take their own rhetoric way too seriously, and actually try to enact the goofball craziness that they always talk about. What a mistake! When they talk about this crap, it sounds good. It really does. That's how they fool so many of our brightest pundits and reporters. But that's just because their rhetoric doesn't have to be based on any form of reality. So they can say anything they want; thus giving them an enormous advantage over people who feel compelled to live in the real world.

And that was all fine and dandy back when they were stuck as the eternal minority, and never had to worry about coming up with realistic policies. They could say anything they wanted, and the day of reckoning never came. And they really started to take advantage of that and said all kinds of crazy stuff; like about term-limits, and balanced-budget amendments, strong ethics rules, and other stuff they'd rather we not remember. But then it worked too well, and they were given more and more power; forcing them to put their money where their mouths were. But they they didn't have any money, and were all mouth.

Oh, they were sly about it for awhile. Blaming Clinton for this, or the Dem Senate for that. And even in 2002 when they got all the reins of government, there were activist judges to worry about, and obstructionist Dems, that big election, and you can't forget those blasted terrorists or solemn 9/11, after which everything was different. But in the end, their rhetoric is just a big pile of elephant crap that can't realistically be brought into reality without pissing off a majority of the nation. And that big pile of crap keeps getting bigger each day; and the longer they hold the reins of government, the less able they are to shovel it off.

And they always screw-up when they try to turn their talk into reality. Because they live in a fantasy-world that just can't work in the real world. It's kind of like matter and anti-matter combining together and blowing up in their face...except a lot funnier.

Everything's Like Sex

And their real problem is that their brand of politics is a lot like a virgin prostitute. The technique is intended to woo them with sweet nothings about abortion and taxes and the big, bad government; and it's supposed to work like futile foreplay. Their base is supposed to get all hot and bothered, but never actually come to completion. Because once the rabble get what they want, they'll immediately fall asleep and won't even leave you money for the cab ride home. So they've got to constantly keep them frothing at the mouth (so to speak); always wanting more, but never quite able to get it.

But the problem is that the people they're appealing to are like sailors on shore leave, and before they get too far into the foreplay, they're ripping off the GOP's bodice and jamming their love stick into every orifice they can fit their little pee-pee's in. And they can fit them in a lot of places.

And so the Republican politicians just can't help themselves. Most of them understand what to do in theory, but it's really hard when they have to face their constituents and explain why they're not getting any. And it's really difficult to keep things on the crest of a climax without going through with it all the way.

That's what happened with Clinton's impeachment, ironically enough. They had been talking about it for so long, that they actually got stuck going through with the deed. Like drunk frat guys bragging about how fun it would be to rape a girl. I suspect they had imagined that Clinton was going to save himself in some slickster fashion before it was done, and in a way that would anger the GOP rabble even more. Like maybe they thought a few activist judges would have stepped in to save the day, or something. But nothing stopped it, and even they were completely unable to put on the brakes; so the GOP was stuck making good on their rape plans. And then after the impeachment, the lights came on and they had to let the guy go because they really didn't have anything on him.


And what it all comes down to is that the right-wingers don't really want anything. They're just upset and looking for someone else to blame for it. They don't like us in charge, but they don't really want anything of their own; beyond undoing a few of our policies. They like their cheap rhetoric and anger, but there aren't any real policy goals behind it. They just don't like our policies.

As I've argued before, the GOP is full of crazy people who are just looking for an outlet to channel their craziness. It's not about saving unborn babies or decency. Those are just cries for help from people whose lives are out of control. They're against abortion and porn because their children are disobedient and their husbands are unfaithful. And they're just not content with life and can't seem to make any sense of anything. And most of them don't even believe in the god that they're desperately hanging on to. They're just seeking some level of normalcy that will bring sanity to their messed-up world. And if their god can't enforce that normalcy, then by god they'll enact it into law themselves. And the fantasyland absolutism is the closest they can get to normalcy.

And so nothing will please them. There is no solution that a politician can enact to fix their problems. And the GOP doesn't even want to; they just want hot and bothered voters. Because the problem isn't prayer in school, or the pledge, or activist judges, or Clinton's lies. Their problem is with themselves. They're like impotent men visiting whorehouses for the foreplay, but unable to engage in the real thing. And it just frustrates them even more. They don't want new laws, they just want to vent. And they don't even know it. And that frustrates them most of all.

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