Ahh, Freedom

It's odd, but I have become totally excited about the whole Palin selection. Finally, a target I can believe in. And with it, I have become obsessed with RedState's obsession of Palin. I guess it's because a McCain loss wouldn't have proven anything as he shouldn't have been there in the first place, but to see a hot new conservative star getting bounced by the American people has just the right amount of cognitive dissonance for these people that it makes it fun to watch their brains explode.

And so it is, when free-market, freedom-fighters write things like:
Please consider doing this: When you go to the grocery story this week, pick up a couple of copies of Us Weekly and deposit them on the shelves where the toilet paper is located.

I guess freedom is not only not free, but you've got to go to the TP aisle just to find it. Redstate: Fighting freedom one magazine at a time.


(I should mention that while I don't actually approve of tabloid-style journalism like what's on that Us Weekly cover, I also don't approve of fascist anti-capitalist vengeance or of deciding for others what they should be allowed to read. If you don't like it, don't buy it. That's what America's about, my friends.)

Memorizer-in-Chief

Conservatives truly are weird people. Like their mocking tone of Obama because he uses a teleprompter, as if memorization is the true test of intelligence. Sure, Obama plays a key role in the creation of his speeches, as did Bill Clinton; while Bush and most Republicans are little more than sock puppets reciting a script...but Obama and that teleprompter.

And so it's odd to read from Erick Erickson at Redstate that Palin "Winged" her speech last night, because the McCain campaign says the teleprompter didn't stop for the applause breaks, forcing her to deliver it from memory. But, unless I'm mistaken, "winged" doesn't mean memorized. It means that they created it while they were speaking. And that's most definitely not what happened. Palin recited a speech that was written for her and whether or not she used a teleprompter, she didn't write it. These weren't her thoughts. These were the thoughts she was told to say and she did it. And for that, we're supposed to imagine that has some huge advantage over Obama.

And of course, as Jonathan Martin at Politico points out, there was no problem with the teleprompter and she read off of the damn thing, just as the dreaded Obama does. Again, not that I understand exactly what's wrong with a teleprompter, as memorization is a trick that some are better at than others and isn't indicative of one's ability to be president (though it should be remembered that we're talking about people whose favorite president was an actor). A politician who can wing a good speech is one thing, as it indicates that they really understand what they're saying, but even children can memorize other people's words. It's like these jokers have never seen a stage play before.

The fact that the best Erickson can crow about is that Palin supposedly has this ability is a clear sign of the level of desperation emanating from the right. They know they're supposed to be ecstatic that Palin is on the ticket, but they're still having trouble explaining why. And trust me, so am I.

The Hand That Feeds

Again, McCain is screwed. The media now seems quite comfortable going full-snark against McCain and the Republicans, while that had always been one of the strongest weapons in their arsenal before.

Here we have Slate's John Dickerson on last night's Republican Convention (via Carpetbagger):
"The first official night of the Republican Convention was one for contradictions. Party stalwarts gathered to celebrate both members of their ticket for bucking their party. The man who waged one of the most desultory campaigns for president in recent memory gave the most rousing speech. And the night ended with a call for loyalty from a member of the opposition party."

Ouch. And as a reminder, this is the same John Dickerson who was spoon-fed the Valarie Plame story by Ari Fleischer without realizing it and who suggested that Hillary Clinton needed to change her laugh for strategic reasons. And here he is dishing up some well-deserved snark against McCain and the Republicans. I guess snake handlers get bit too.

Yet this is all terribly predictable (as I did, in fact, predict this). For as much as Republicans want to believe they can get away with anything and still keep their coalition together, with the Palin choice they totally jumped off of the tightrope and landed right into an alligator pit. But the writing was on the wall even before this. While Bush was positioned well to be the media's buddy while his handlers kept them on a tight leash, McCain was destined to piss them off once it finally sank in that the straight-talker hadn't been so straight with them after all and that he was going to be kissing someone else's ass for the election. It's all fun and games until reality sets in.

And again, this is a disaster for McCain. Media snark is one of the strongest weapons the Republicans have as it allowed them to go personal while keeping Democrats off-balance. But it looks now like the snake has finally learned how to feed itself.

Celebrity!

Via Atrios:



Holy fricking shit! And with Sally Quinn and McCain's media admirers openly revolting against him, is it safe to say yet that the election is over? Perhaps so. I mean, not that Quinn and the media are nearly as influential as some people imagine they are, but they were the primary thing that was keeping McCain afloat.

McCain shored up the base, but seems to have lost everything else. And will this finally convince conservatives that they're in the minority? Or will they invent some other rationalization for why their fave Palin seems to have sunk McCain's chances? Wait, I know the answer to that one.

Reductive Reasoning

I'm not sure why, but I've become slightly obsessed with RedState now that McCain picked Palin as VP. And so I was naturally curious to see what they were thinking about all the negative news about Palin now that they've had time to think about it. Needless to say, they're quietly shitting themselves while pretending they hold all the cards; as usual.

But one of the funniest posts has to be this one by RedState founder Erick Erickson, in which Erickson attempts to use deductive reasoning to prove that Obama's campaign is behind all the Palin baby stories. And it basically breaks down to this:

The story started with a Daily Kos blogger
Obama once used Daily Kos to help him
Obama has blogged on Daily Kos
Obama has the Daily Kos on RSS feed
Obama says he reads Daily Kos
Democrats are pushing a different story against Palin
Obama says he'd fire any staffer involved in this

And with that, Erickson concludes: "The pattern is clear: Obama's campaign pushes information to Daily Kos. Daily Kos then spreads it and gets it into the media (probably because a lot of reporters are also diarists there). Given all the other ever changing statements from Obama, how exactly can we really believe his denials now, given his pattern and the connections?"

A clear pattern, indeed. Honestly, what the fuck is this guy talking about? I mean, I've read Daily Kos and posted on Daily Kos, yet I haven't had anything to do with this pregnancy story. And yet to Erickson, this is somehow a clear pattern that Obama is lying about this. Shit, there isn't even a line of reasoning here. It amounts to: Obama uses Daily Kos, therefore he must be behind a story posted there. Hercule Poirot would be proud.

Blog Operatives

And what's really sad is that this is exactly how Republicans use blogs. Republican operatives push news to conservative blogs which promptly report it as if it was their own research. And to make this work properly, there can't be a direct line from the operative to the blogs. I'd be truly surprised if Erickson wasn't a recipient of such research. I'm sure it appeals both to his top-down authoritarianism, as well as his inner sneak. And so it just makes sense for him to assume that liberals do the same thing, as he feels guilty about what he's done and rationalizes it by asserting that his enemies are doing it too.

But the main point of using such duplicitous methods is to allow a smear to take place without any link to anyone official. So why would Obama use a blog that he's openly associated with and has even blogged on? That'd defeat the purpose. For as much as Erickson is pretending there is some nefarious connection of Obama feeding Kos stories, everything he found is above board and would suggest that he wouldn't use Kos for such purposes. The idea that Erickson imagines that he's got clear proof of some conspiracy is all too laughable.

And the real point is clear: These people are shitting themselves. Sure, they imagine they're putting up a good front, but it's obvious that they're having big trouble trying to figure out some way of regaining the offensive on this one. Their homepage currently shows fifteen stories and eight of them are defending Palin; and seeing as how I believe Republicans happen to have some sort of convention going on right now (which accounted for five posts), it seems that they're a bit obsessed with these stories right now.

And that's just not how Republicans like to do things. They don't play defense...ever. And if the best offense they can muster is to struggle in vain to find some way to link Obama to these stories (which they're confident exists), then we can be assured that they're not happy campers.

The Well-Heeled President

Maureen Dowd may know snark, but she doesn't know her Lifetime movies. Because for as much as I agree with her that the Palin pick totally sounds better suited for a chick flick than reality, there are a few problems with the real story.

First off, in the movie version, she'd have to be a Democrat, though her party affiliation would merely be alluded to and never explicitly stated. Secondly, her Republicanish opponent would have to be a stuffy jerk in a suit with bad though hidden corruption problems; not an uppity black man that people don't trust. And her running mate would need to be a lovable though slightly aloof older guy with a touch of senility; rather than an unlovable jerk with a touch of senility. (A running gag would be that she keeps having to fix his tie or remove the toilet paper from his shoe. And she'd also get him to dress better with a better haircut, including the ubiquitous music montage as he tries on different looks.)

But the rest of this story writes itself. People would immediately love her quirky and refreshing manner which would offend all the stuffy Washington-types, but the general public would immediately side with her. And this would pull out an unexpected shift in the polls, thus leading to a squeaker victory on Election Day due to a last minute scandal that was orchestrated by her opponent that almost sinks her until her adorable son saves the day by uttering something that is as practical as it is cute. And then, as Dowd suggests, the president chokes on a pretzel or something and leaves her in charge. Needless to say, hilarity would ensue.

And were I a producer looking to sell something to LMN, this is the exact sort of thing I'd come up with. But in reality, this was a damn crappy decision that is an embarrassment to everyone involved. I mean, when Maureen Dowd comes out blasting with both snark barrels on your VP choice before they've done anything wrong, you screwed up. For as much as Dowd has to invent shit in order to keep up her Kewl Kidz snark, McCain totally made her job a lot easier.

And yes, the title of my post is the working title for the movie I wrote, so if any of you happen to work for the Lifetime Movie Network, call me.

Rove v. Rove

One of the saddest things about Republicans is that they're their own worst enemies. Because for as much fearmongering as they do, they really are scared of their own shadows and see bogeymen around every corner, and the bogeymen is them.

Because they really do imagine that we're all like them, think as they do, and know all their darkest secrets; and are too close-minded to realize that the rest of us aren't playing the games that consistently swirl around in their heads. And so they learn to become hypersensitive attack dogs because they're always scared of every move they make and the more clever they get at protecting themselves, the more dangerous their opponents seem to become. Because they always fear that they are on the verge of being exposed and that all their weaknesses are on display to the world, so they become increasingly deceptive and paranoid with each passing battle.

And this is exactly what we saw from Nixon, who really did believe himself to be a decent guy who was only slightly more successful at screwing other people than they were at screwing him. Because he believed that everyone was doing what he was doing but just doing a better job of hiding it. And again, it was his shadow self he was always fighting. He knew what he was capable of and imagined that his enemies were planning the same thing. Everything he did was self-defense against his own imagination.

Winning the News Cycle

And so it is with Karl Rove who said of Obama's VP decision:
"I think he's going to make an intensely political choice, not a governing choice. He's going to view this through the prism of a candidate, not through the prism of president; that is to say, he's going to pick somebody that he thinks will on the margin help him in a state like Indiana or Missouri or Virginia. He's not going to be thinking big and broad about the responsibilities of president."

But of course, it was Rove and the McCain side who would make this blunder. In fact, the idea that Rove could imagine that Obama would make this kind of mistake is strong evidence of what an idiot the guy is. Because he obviously doesn't understand what Obama's been doing this whole time and why Obama's political model is far superior to Rove's simple-minded one.

Because the Rove model is where you put all policy implications aside and view everything through a political lens. Everything is negotiable, including every longterm goal, and it's all about winning the next news cycle. But that's not what Obama has done at all. Because short-term cycle-victories are nice and everything, but without a longterm goal, you just never know where you end up. And as we saw with Clinton and now McCain, you can end up stepping on your own message or moving into territory that hurts you overall.

And that's exactly what we see with the Palin decision. Sure she knocked Obama's speech off as the top story (though honestly, that might be for the best, as the more the talking heads talked about it, the more the Republicans would have convinced them it was a bad speech); but this news cycle will be over by Monday and they'll still be stuck with Palin. And that's not how Obama has done things at all. He has a longterm goal and has made sure that every little part of his short-term strategies fit into that goal. We saw that in the primary, where Hillary would often win news cycles, but end up a little further behind after the news played-out.

And more importantly, as Carpetbagger points out, when your campaign is based on what you plan to do and then you win, you have a mandate to do those things. But when your campaign is just based on bashing the shit out of your opponent, the only mandate you have is to keep bashing your opponent; which explains why Bush has been so unpopular. They won the election, but they had no ability to do anything with it because their victory had nothing to do with people approving of them. And there's really no point in winning if you don't get the spoils of victory.

And even now, libs fret every time McCain wins a news cycle, but Obama still comes out ahead in the end. Because he's playing this for the Big Picture, which is how it's done. You really don't need to win every little skirmish, but once you start playing the short-term game, you're trapped into it and every little battle IS the big battle. Obama knows better. Rove still doesn't.

Political Weight

And so it was unthinkable that Obama would need to go for the cheap political gimmick. He's his own slick marketing campaign, and so what he needed was a running mate to add more substance to the ticket And that's exactly what he got. And it was McCain whose political machine is so rusty that he needed a cheap gimmick to spruce things up. And it was Rove and his ilk who would put the political implications of the VP choice ahead of the practical ones.

Even the Dick Cheney pick was a political decision made to spruce up lightweight Bush with a man of "gravitas," which was probably the biggest mistake the Bushies ever made. The weight Cheney added has been crushing them for years. And this time, they went with the sportscaster beauty queen who satisfies the rightwing base in the worst ways. (I should mention that I have nothing personal against Palin, and it's unfortunate that she wasn't intelligent enough to realize she should have turned down the offer. She will certainly regret it.)

And when Rove was talking about what Obama's campaign would do, he was only telegraphing his own thoughts. And they're sadly insular. Even if Obama were a short-term news cycle sort of thinker, it was obvious he needed a weighty choice for VP. Again, it would have been the Bush-Cheney thing, of pairing a less experienced president with a weightier vice-president. But Obama went with someone who helps him in every way and who looks credible as a presidential substitute. So while Biden was a good political choice, it was policy implications that came first. And that's been Obama's MO the whole time.

And hearing Rove mock the idea of picking an inexperienced VP in order to satisify political needs is just too funny. I mean, not only was this his way of thinking, but he was the guy who thought picking an inexperienced boob to be president was devilishly clever. Again, these people are their own worst enemies. Were they smarter, they'd realize that the criticisms they make of their perceived enemies actually represent self-doubt, which they could use to better themselves. But instead, they flail mercilessly at an enemy that only exists in their heads, and it's only due to the superficial nature of our political coverage that anyone imagines that it works.

The Palin Footnote

Holy shit is John McCain an idiot! I mean seriously, what the hell was he thinking by picking Sarah Palin as his running mate? Scratch that, I know that no real thinking was involved at all. This just felt right to his stubborn gut and everything else was a rationalization. And I'm sure once he tossed out the idea and heard his handlers explain why it was dumb, it just made him want to pick her even more.

Because as even Andrea Mitchell concedes, McCain just lost his strongest attack against Obama. For as much as they attacked Obama for being famous, that was only because the experience attack never really needed to be made because it was so obvious. And now McCain has lost that completely, as he's picked someone with even less experience than Obama. Honestly, message discipline was one of the few things the Bushies ever really got right, and it's as if the McCain campaign is determined to get everything wrong.

Gimmick for VP

And I'm sure that picking a woman seemed like a stroke of genius to the insular thinkers in McCain's campaign. But it was a huge HUGE blunder. A catastrophe. I'm guessing they saw the Obama-Clinton primary and decided that the female thing was what helped Hillary go where all the other challengers failed, but that's entirely wrong. Sure, her supporters liked the whole Female President thing, but it was the Clinton Factor that got her there in the first place. And had the Big Dog himself been on the ticket, he'd most likely have won. The fact that Hillary was a woman was an extra bonus to her supporters; not the main prize.

But even worse, it absolutely reeks of an Affirmative Action pick. That's the big reason why I was really hoping Obama wouldn't pick a woman VP. Because everyone would assume, probably correctly, that it was just a gimmick. And that's exactly how McCain's pick looks, but even worse. A female heading the ticket would be bold and might sway a few people, just for the novelty. But a female VP choice behind Hothead McCain will be little more than a footnote in history, much as Geraldine Ferraro was.

And the Affirmative Action Gimmick angle could really hurt McCain, as there are quite a few sexists in the Republican Party who absolutely hate this sort of Affirmative Action pick and who are going to be totally pissed about this. Sure, they might not say this is their objection to her, and they might insist that it doesn't affect their presidential decision at all. But all the same, if McCain suffered from an enthusasim gap before, which he did, then he now just pushed that into negative territory.

Expect many of the sexists to stay home on Election Day, as the only woman they want in the Whitehouse is the First Lady; and they expect her to remain docile.

A Visit to Loonland

And just to see what the other side says, I made a trip to RedState to see what those goons have to say, and while it wasn't exactly what I expected, it fits exactly with the Stubborn Gut nature of McCain's decision. Because they love it. They really do. Erick Erickson inexplicably insists that this is "an epic win" while Jeff Emanuel attacks Democrats for pointing out that she's a desperate wildcard gimmick and that her lack of national stature hurts her.

And in every case, the part that the RedStaters like the best is how McCain faked-out everyone and how unconventional (read: Risky) the pick is. In other words, their contrarians hearts are in love with the idea. They even go as far as to insist that Palin's got some big experience stick to club Obama with, failing to ever note how briefly she's held office or that she's three years younger than Obama. I'm serious, of the four posts up so far, they never mention that she's only been governor for one and a half years, while insisting that she's got experience that destroys Obama's. These people are truly delusion.

But of course, this all spells doom for McCain. Because contrarians are in the minority by definition, and if they like something, it cannot be popular. And their viewpoints cannot be shared by a majority of people, or they'd shift their views. And so if they think this is a stroke of genius, you can be assured that it was a tremendous blunder. Contrarians are necessary as a sort of ballast against the majority and it's always important to have certain people adopt opposing attitudes, in order to keep the conversation healthy and safe. But these people don't belong with the rest of us and if they adopt a position, it's safe to put your money on the other side. They're not always wrong, but they might as well be.

And so this is going to cause a big hurrah on a slow news day, but as the days pass and it all sinks in, McCain's going to quickly realize what a blunder he's made. This was a horrible choice and McCain just made his bad campaign worse. And as Carpetbagger points out, all this goes to show what an odd president McCain would be.

Obama Speech Pictures

Ok, so I wasn't actually invited to Denver to give one of those convention speeches where you wonder why the person even bothers talking because nobody cares what they said. In fact...I wasn't even invited to Denver at all. That's right, I admit it. Doctor Biobrain got snubbed at yet another Democratic National Convention. What can I say, it's all a big Democrat conspiracy, thanks to that one time I got a little tipsy at the super-secret blogtime political get together and spilled my Cosmopolitan all over Nancy Pelosi's pantsuit...after I had already swallowed it (the Cosmopolitan, not the pantsuit). It could have happened to anyone.

But...I have been to an Obama rally here in Austin, as I'm sure all y'all remember from my post back in February. And I totally forgot that I never posted the pictures I took at the rally, and man were you people really missing out. So, with no further ado, here's the best of the pictures I took:



I got there an hour before it started and as you can see, I really wasn't very close. So you can kind of guess how crowded it was. And no, I wasn't at the back of the crowd and was glad to have gotten as close as I did.

And just so you understand, Obama is the guy you can't see behind those four dudes. I'm guessing they were Secret Service guys designed to make sure a sniper wouldn't have a clear shot at Obama, though it's quite possible they were just drunk frat guys that nobody had the nerve to tell to sit down. Austin is like that sometimes. But I'm pretty damn sure that was Obama speaking on the other side of them, though I never really did get a clear view of him and it might have just been some joker in an Obama suit. Either way, it was a great rally and I'll never forget it.

Here are two more pics:





Oh, and I never did mention my favorite part of the speech: It was when Obama made some remark about being black and I loudly exclaimed "He's black??" much to the amusement of everyone around me. Or perhaps you just had to be there.

Another Convention

And hey, while I'm at it, I might as well post the pictures I took at the Democratic Convention I did go to, which was the Travis County convention. I actually got to be a delegate, which is the closest I'll ever get to having my presidential opinion count for anything here in Texas. Oh well. That Hispanic majority will be coming soon, and then perhaps the Electoral College will give a crap about me (thanks Republican racists).

Anyway, here's what it looked like at the Democratic Convention I went to in March.





It ain't the Pepsi Center, but at least some of the food wasn't too expensive. I ended up eating popcorn for lunch, as the line was too long for the "real" food. Thank god I had the donut on the way there, or I would have starved.

The No-Talk Express

Wow, I had predicted awhile back that the media would eventually turn on McCain, but reading this "prickly" McCain interview with Time Magazine's James Carney and Michael Scherer was embarrassingly awkward.

It's yet another strong sign that McCain's media admirers are becoming disenchanted with the guy now that they're forced to ask even moderately interesting softball questions. The reporters were clearly bending over backwards (or forwards, depending on your POV) in order to remain friendly, but McCain refused to see it that way and made himself out to look like an even bigger jerk than he normally does.

First off, here's a list of the subjects McCain outright refused to talk about:
Honor
Limited media access
Change in campaign tactics
Campaign mistakes he's made
His sons

From his reaction, you'd think they were asking him about the time he called his wife a cunt. But even the questions he answered weren't really answered. Instead, he did the age-old trick of answering the question he wished he'd been asked, rather than the one that was actually asked.

Like when he was asked to respond to people who criticize him for being belligerent towards Russia and all he could do was tell us that he's been criticizing Russia since Putin came to power, without addressing the actual question. An actual answer would be to explain why toughness against Russia is better for America than what his critics suggest we do. But instead, all we got is more anti-Russia toughguy talk, as if he had been asked about his feeling of Russia, rather than addressing his critics.

And this kind of thing makes sense if you're in a hardboil interview facing tough questions you really don't want to answer. But this wasn't one of those interviews. In fact, there wasn't a tough question in the batch. If anything, the admitting to campaign mistakes one is always a bit tricky, but it wasn't really "tough." And none of the rest were even remotely difficult. A proper answer to the Russian question should have put his critics back on their heels. As it is, all he did was repeat what we already know, which didn't hurt his critics or help his cause. Just stupid.

Country First®

For whatever reason, McCain imagined that the reporters were putting the screws to him and he never really wanted to move beyond basic talking points that were little more than meaningless slogans which seemed excessively clunky in this sort of forum. Slogan-answers can be used in a propaganda interview with Rush Limbaugh or Free Republic. But even Time Magazine's readers are sophisticated enough to be offended by that sort of meaningless marketing gimmick.

But even worse, he accidentally used his slogan to insult his own party. When asked what he'd like voters to know about him, all he could say was that he put his country first. And then when asked how he was different from the Bush Administration, he was again back at the "Putting the Country First" well, with that apparently being a guiding principle that separates him from other Republicans. And that was entirely dumb, as the "Putting the Country First" thing is supposed to be an insult to Obama, who supposedly doesn't put his country first; yet his use of it was a clear smear against Republicans in this answer. It's like he doesn't even know what his slogans are for.

But overall, it doesn't matter what he said. All that matters is that Time Magazine has already realized that the Straight Talk Express has been mothballed, and is now seeing the new, "prickly" McCain. And this is going to hurt him more than anything. Were McCain to have a reputation as someone who was always aggressive with the media, this wouldn't be a big deal. Or if his machine could manipulate them the way the Bush Machine did. But it was the media who took McCain as far as he got, and when mainstream folks like Jay Carney are openly talking about a jerk McCain is, he's screwed.

I'm not sure who imagined it was a good idea to re-open media access to McCain, but I would imagine that they got balled-out by McCain in the way he clearly wanted to give during the interview. And remember, this is still August. September and October will be rough months for McCain. Will they be as tough on him as he deserves? Of course not. But it'll be far worse than he imagines. This was the softball interview. The more he offends these people, the harder they'll get.

The Devil's in the Details

The shotgun-style charges AP writer Darlene Superville fired at Democratic National Convention speakers Tuesday night weren't necessarily half-truths. But in some instances, they weren't the whole story either.

Some examples of what she wrote — and what she left out:


DARLENE SUPERVILLE: "But McCain wasn't always a staunch Bush backer. In 2005, his support for Bush's position on legislation reached a low of 77 percent; last year, when he launched his latest bid for the GOP presidential nomination, he voted with Bush 95 percent of the time."

THE FACTS: McCain wasn't always the anti-Bush maverick who fought back against Bush a whopping 23% of the time in 2005; nor was he always the pliant suck-up voting against Bush 5% of the time last year. No, there were whole days during these years when John McCain voted against Bush 100% of the time, and other days when he supported Bush 100% of the time.

DARLENE SUPERVILLE: "McCain has received more than $1.5 million in contributions from oil and gas industry employees and their spouses, according to the nonpartisan Center for Responsive Politics. Obama has received about $423,000."

THE FACTS: McCain has received more than three times as much money than Obama did. In addition, Superville cites the center's numbers to show that Obama has received $93,000 from certain oil companies, without mentioning that $93,000 is a much smaller number than $1.5 million. Much much smaller. In fact, the League of Biobrain Statisticians calculates that Obama received over $1.4 million less from those certain oil companies than what all oil companies contributed to McCain, and that $1.4 million is a large number.

DARLENE SUPERVILLE: "The $4 billion in tax breaks for oil companies is part of McCain's plan to reduce corporate taxes overall and does not represent an additional tax benefit for these companies."

THE FACTS: The tax breaks for all corporations is part of McCain's plan to reduce taxes on rich people overall and does not represent an additional tax benefit just for corporations. The tax reduction McCain has proposed would apply to all rich people, including the people who own corporations and oil companies.

And so as you can see, it looks like the fact-checker just got her facts checked. Booyah!

Spiteful Democrats for McCain

I am an Obama-loving, McCain-bashing longtime liberal Democrat, which means that my negative opinion of McCain is much less important than the opinion of a Democrat who now supports McCain out of spite. I mean sure, my opinion is rational, consistent, and educated; but...there are lots of people who agree with me. The Spiteful McCain Democrats, on the other hand, are such a small group that McCain's stuck highlighting one who is only famous for being an anomaly. And that makes her opinion much more important than someone like me, who is representative of millions of people. That's just common sense.

Some day, our media will be run by responsible individuals who take pride in reporting real news, and then the Republicans are going to be totally screwed. Some day...

Joe Biden for Vice-President!!

I've got a confession: For as much as I consider myself to be a political junkie, I'm really not into the whole policy thing too much. Even worse, for as much as I do follow policy discussions, I generally don't get into this shit to the level of actually watching Congressional hearings and all that. For me, there are just too many moving parts to that kind of thing, and so while I follow political discussions of which politician said what stupid thing and how I can use that to my personal advantage, I don't really know much of what those politicians actually do, you know, as part of their actual job and all that. Basically, I know what I need to know for what I enjoy knowing, and that's about it.

And so what I'm getting at is that, as far as Joe Biden is concerned, all I really know about him is what I've seen on The Daily Show, and I kind of stopped watching that about two years ago (nothing against the show, but I got to be the only one at home who wanted to watch it, and I don't like watching TV alone, so I just stopped watching it). And from what I've seen on The Daily Show, Joe Biden's a pretty decent pick for the VP slot. I'm not sure what the netroots has against him, (though I've heard some noise about him supporting the lousy bankruptcy bill), but he seems like a pretty decent pick to me. I mean hell, it's not like the Republicans can use the bankruptcy bill against Obama or Biden; nor does it seem as if Biden will try to pass that same bill again, so I don't see why that kind of thing is such a big deal. That's what we call pragmatism, my friends.

And seeing as how I follow this kind of thing far, far better than the average voter, I think that spells good things for Biden. He sounds intelligent, looks intelligent, and hey, he probably is pretty intelligent; and that puts him ahead of just about any Republican who's honest enough to still be in office. And then I just read this AP Analysis piece that sounds like he's already ripping the shit out of McCain and I've got to like that. Not that I was one who thought Obama was going too soft on McCain, but I really did like the Biden hits on Obama.

And hey, it should have been Wesley Clark. But what can you do? Cry about it? And it's quite possible I've been totally wrong about Clark all these years and he would have let me down as President and Vice-President, just like I might have been wrong for supporting Dodd earlier this year. And so this way, I get to keep pretending that I was right all along, without having to worry about reality proving me wrong; and that's always nice. And so hey, Biden wasn't my first choice, but the very limited knowledge I have of him tells me that he was a great choice.

Besides, Obama's still got me slotted to be Shadow Vice-President, which is where all the real power is anyway (thanks Cheney), so you'll hear no complaints from me. Believe or not, the Shadow VP debate will be moderated by none other than Edward R. Murrow, who has been covering shadow news since he faked his death back in the 60's. And yes, my opponent will be Dick Cheney. Wish me luck.

Expectations Management

Internal polling suggests I'll get a 20-point bounce on John McCain by switching from Colgate to Crest. He will be crushed in utter defeat!


Update: The actual bounce was only 8-points. I'm screwed!!!

Doctor Biobrain Got Stiffed

From Yahoo and Mike Allen of the Politico, I learned that Hillary Clinton got "stiffed" by Obama because he apparently never vetted her for the vice presidency. And I was like, wait a minute, he never vetted me either! He didn't ask my friends about me, or snoop into my past, or find out who's been contributing to the Doctor Biobrain Wildlife Consortium and Bingo Parlor...nothing!!

And so what's up with that? What's so scummy about ol' Doc Biobrain that Obama wouldn't even consider me for his second-in-command? Hey, I don't even have all the heavy negative baggage associated with Hillary, nor the weirdness of having ever suggested that John McCain was more qualified to be president than Obama. And I'm even tall, and would certainly compliment Barack on the basketball court a lot better than Shorty McClinton would have. And I never wear pantsuits.

And so while old Hills might have gotten the short shrift from Obama, I'd have to say that I'm a bit hurt by all this too. I mean, I've been shilling for that dude for months, and nothing. Not even a credit check from the guy. This is bullshit and I'm just not going to take it anymore. I deserve a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T for all I've done for Obama and the least he can do is spend much needed time and energy checking my ass out. After all, the VP choice is the new ambassadorship and should be used to thank loyal supporters and as a consolation prize for the people we beat; and I refuse to allow anyone to take this more seriously than that. And let me tell you, if I don't at least get a little SecDef action next year, I'll really be pissed.

John McCain: A Kept Man of the People

Oops. Looking at the "Most Popular News Stories" in Yahoo first thing this morning, I see a big blasting headline at the top saying "McCain not sure how many houses he and his wife own" as well as another story from Politico, which are both repeated on the page a few times. Ha ha!

And the lead paragraph, which you might already have seen just gets worse:

Days after he cracked that being rich in the U.S. meant earning at least $5 million a year, Republican presidential candidate John McCain acknowledged that he wasn't sure how many houses he and his wealthy wife actually own

Yikes! That's rough. He and his wealthy wife. And what's up with them mentioning that the wife's wealthy, rather than that both of them are wealthy? It's one thing if they were recently married, but they've been together for a long time. At this point, they're a wealthy couple.

And I'm having trouble parsing this one to see if it helps or hurts him more. On the one hand, I guess this makes him look better because I suppose you can still be a man of the people as long as you're a kept man. Because I mean, who amongst us doesn't have a wealthy wife to buy us $500 shoes? But really, that can't be quite what McCain is going for either, right? For as much as McCain never emphasizes his bio as a POW, he really really really never seems to emphasize the fact that his second wife is rolling in beer money. I guess there are some parts of his life he likes more than others.

And so I suspect that right about now McCain's handlers are probably reaching for the heart pills (for John) and the Maalox (for themselves) as he's probably having a real shit-fit over this one. If only they could have stopped at six houses, right? So I'm guessing that any second now they'll be sending out their minions to put out the line on how POW's should never be expected to count their own houses, along with a veiled hint on how Celebrity Obama will be burgling your own home if you keep asking about McCain's.

I can see the Fox News crawl on this already: Is Obama too famous to rob your home?

The answer: No.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!! SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

Ok folks, the time has come. I've been running my stealth presidential campaign for the past two decades building up to this momentous moment: That's right, my presidential exploratory committee has finally come up with a decision on who I should pick as my vice presidential choice, were I to decide to run for president. And after much discussion over a lot of beer, we have finally come up with our decision, and it is none other than...Barack Obama.

That's right, Barack Obama is going to be the next Vice President of the United States. And really, once you think about it, it's really a no-brainer. We did some poll testing and it turns out that people like the guy, they really do. Plus, we figured that letting the Clinton and Rove teams vet our choice would be a heckeva lot smarter than having our guys do the standard Google search we were planning to do. And hey, since a lot of people feel a tad bit uncomfortable with having such an unknown quantity into the top spot, it just made sense to let him rest on the sidelines as my understudy for eight years, letting him learn the ropes with training wheels on. People will like that.

And so that's it. I thought I'd share this with you, my loyal readers, first, before we unload it on all the networks later in the week. My handlers didn't think that was such a great idea, but screw them. Those bitches work for me! Anyway, so that's the big news. Hope you're pleased.

Pre-Race Attacks

In case y'all hadn't noticed yet, I've been really busy for about a month and haven't been able to post as frequently (once a day) as I'd like. And that's not going to change at least for about a week or so. But I'm trying to still keep up, so I'll just post here a comment I left at Carpetbagger's in reference to his post on Obama ramping up his attacks on McCain and how he's "just getting warmed up."

I definitely agree that Obama is just warming up. As I keep saying, for most voters the presidential race doesn’t start until after August. Everything before that is just pre-race positioning. It’s not good to fall behind before the race begins, but it’s a mistake to give it everything you’ve got before you even get started.

Especially as political attacks generally have a very short shelf life. Once you hit your opponent with something, you generally have a week at most to keep using it before you have to come up with something else. And if you throw everything at once, your attacks won’t mean as much and you’ll run out of them early.

That's exactly what the McCain campaign is doing and it's going to hurt him in the long run. Once a political attack wears off, your opponent becomes innoculated against it. So McCain's throwing everything he's got and he's still losing in the polls. Things are just going to get worse for him once voters start paying attention and he's still trying to repeat the same old attacks. It'll all be old news and he'll have little credibility.

iMoron

Atrios has a post quoting some "glibertarian" running for State Assembly in California who wrote a piece attacking the very idea of public transportation. I quote:

We just don't use buses with a frequency that causes even a slight profit. If public transportation were really needed or even moderately desired, the market demand would make it happen. When the iPhones went on sale, did we have to levy taxes to get people to buy them? We didn't have to raise taxes to put a computer in virtually every home, either. Good ideas are swarmed by people wanting to use them.

And my first thought on reading this was: What an imbecile. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized he was totally right. If public transportation is such a great idea, why hasn't Steve Jobs figured out a way to make a profit at it? That guy is like totally smart and if he can't give it to us in a cool and expensive manner, maybe it's not worth it.

But hey, why stop at public transportation? First off, there's our entire road system, which almost entirely consists of socialist tax-and-spend concrete and asphalt. Lenin must be proud, I'm sure. I mean, if public roads were really needed or even moderately desired, the market would make it happen, right? And yet it's obvious that the only roads we need are a few tollways in the most congested areas; yet our greedhead politicians continue to spend a fortune subsidizing unneeded driving.

And why stop there? Where's the iPolice when you need them? Why aren't the iMarines fixing the mess in Baghdad? And why isn't our iPresident telling us about our huge budget surplus? I'll tell you why, because the government doesn't want these things to happen. They just want us sucking on the bureaucratic teat, so they'll steal our hard-earned money in order to subsidize activities that surely must be ripe for the picking for some young entrepreneur; if only the government would just step aside and let the free markets do their thing. Why else wouldn't this be happening?

And so I say: Enough! If free enterprise won't lengthen buslines or stop your sister from being raped, well then it's obvious the market doesn't want these things to happen. We didn't have to raise taxes to stop the Germans in WWII, and if something is a good idea, it will be swarmed by people wanting to use it. And if not...well then, it must be a bad idea. The markets know all!


Update: I've just been informed by a very reliable source that I'm an idiot and don't know what I'm talking about. And for that, I apologize.

The Fantasy Dictator

Atrios quotes a story about how Bush promised we'd send humanitarian aid to Georgia without having first determined if such aid is logistically possible (it doesn't seem to be), and asks about the "magic transporter beam" that could have made this work. And what's sad is that magic really is the only way that conservative ideas work. It's all about will power and making things happen because you want them to happen. Conservatism sounds so good because the only thing you have to lose is reality. After that, the world truly is your oyster.

Sure, modern society and infrastructure seem extremely expensive and countries that don't pay for this stuff don't get to have it and are therefore sucky places to live, but screw it, this stuff would all be free if the government would stop taxing us to make us pay for it all. Even our exploding healthcare problems would vanish overnight if only we got rid of health insurance and government subsidies and made everyone pay with gold coins and fairy dust, or something like that. Free CAT scans for everyone!!

And let me tell you, I deal with this kind of stuff every day. I've got a seven-year-old daughter who still thinks I can do just about anything, as long as she asks for it strongly enough, and it still makes me feel like a bad daddy when I can't do it. But even still, she's definitely starting to get it. Sure, once she sets her heels in on demanding stuff, she's pretty stubborn about backing down. But she's definitely learning to separate the possible from the impossible and only demanding stuff that I really can get her.

But not our conservatives. They live in a world where everyone can be rich, if only we weren't taxed too much. They want everything and they want it now. Bush can look at a map on the wall and see how tiny everything is and just send in a bunch of hospital ships without even needing to roll the Risk dice to see if they'll let him in. His wish is our command; that's what it means to be the Commander-in-Chief. Things sure are a heck of a lot easier now that he's the dictator.