Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Correction: You Cannot Date Britney Spears

As a clarification to his intelligence-impaired readers regarding his previous post, Doctor Biobrain explains:

I apologize for misguiding many of my less brain-affluent readers by suggesting that reading through my previous post would give them tips on how to date Britney Spears. It was, in fact, a joke. The joke being that by calling your date "Britney Spears" that she would somehow become Britney Spears. And the point being that conservatives seem to have fooled themselves into similar logic. They seem to believe that if they change the meaning of the words "conservative" and "liberal", and if they get more people to start adopting the "conservative" label, that they have successfully converted them to conservativism.

But they haven't. They can change the names, but they can't convince people to give up their good life. People like the rugged individualist rhetoric of the conservatives, but when push comes to shove, they gots to get their benefits on.

And that's what my point was. I sincerely regret any confusion over this matter and would never intend to dupe anyone into thinking that they should read my posts to get celebrity dating advice. That's for premium members only. The rest of you schlubs are on your own.


Anonymous said...

Fuk you Mister Bbrain. If anyone's intellectually impaired here it'd be you. Maybe if stupid libs like you didn't assume that all us Americans are morons you guys might do better at the ballot box. But you can't. Your so wrapped up in your elitism that you can't for a second consider the possibility that your no smarter than us. So keep it up, losers and we can continue with our conservative sweep of the government.

Doctor Biobrain said...

Thank you for your kind words. Setting aside the irony of someone complaining of elitist tendencies while attacking my intelligence, you have only served to confirm my thesis. Though this anecodotal post is hardly the ringing endorsement, your idea clearly conveys the idea that the only thing preventing liberals from winning is a shift in rhetoric. And that is exactly what I was saying.

Republicans have been winning votes for political reasons, such as a real or imagined inferiority complex towards urbanites, but have yet to convert that into a true policy shift. Nor do I believe they will be able to. America is a liberal nation and Republicans have only been able to defy that fact by setting aside policy and whipping up a political frenzy. But the more they try to take away America's liberal policies, the more that frenzy will lash back at them.

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