Wednesday, March 16, 2005

To Kill or Not To Kill? Confusion Abounds

Huh. Kind of a mixed message today from the courts on whether I should murder my wife. Scott Peterson got the death penalty, which is a strong message against it. But then Robert Blake got off scott-free, even of the charges of soliciting someone else to do it. So now I don't know what to think.

Of course, Blake was a celebrity, which has its own system of justice. But then again, Peterson certainly got celebrity status too, though that was solely due to the trial itself. And while Robert Blake was hardly on the tips of everyones tongue when asked "who is your favorite celebrity", he was well-known enough to get a "oh yeah, that guy" when his credits are given. So maybe Blake's isn't the best legal precedent to follow for a non-celebrity such as myself.

Plus, when you average together the two results, it really comes out pretty hard on the don't-kill-your-wife side. I mean, if you add together a death sentence, plus living the rest of your life known best as the guy who got away with killing his wife, divided by two...well it doesn't come out ahead of where I'm already at in life. So I guess I'll just hold tight right now and see how the whole Phil Spector thing turns out. He's a celebrity, so his case doesn't exactly correlate with anything I do, but it wasn't his wife that he killed, so I think that evens it out. We'll see, we'll see. And if nothing else, if the Spector trial goes well enough, I might take CNN's lead and stop covering political news completely. Their political news has been relegated to gossip-mongering anyway, so it just makes sense to give up on any pretext of news and just go for the fun stuff.

(Editor's note: We are fairly certain that Doctor Biobrain was just joking and is not planning to murder his wife. We apologize for the confusion.)


Jack Sprat said...

You're a sick motherfucker, Biobrain. Good luck with the whole wife thing.

Mrs. Biobrain said...

I'd prefer that you didn't kill me. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Don't kill your wife. You may need her for your alibi.