Sir Sanford and the Villainous Reality

Just wanted to address the whole Governor Sanford thing. My initial reaction to all this, before he confessed to everything, was that his disappearance was some sort of publicity stunt, in order to get his name out there. He had just fought a public battle, sort of against Obama, and now wanted to get even more publicity by disappearing after this epic struggle against socialism. And this would make him a national story even amongst those who don't follow politics, and make a name for himself as an alternative to Obama. Boy was I wrong about that.

And now I read this:

"This was a whole lot more than a simple affair, this was a love story," Sanford said. "A forbidden one, a tragic one, but a love story at the end of the day."

During an emotional interview at his Statehouse office with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he's trying to fall back in love with his wife.

And this just confirms my suspicion that the dude really just wanted to get caught. He couldn't outright leave his wife, but part of him loved the romance so much that he sabotaged himself in order to eventually make everything public.

Because so much of what he did was absolutely stupid. Like leaving a love letter he had written in a place his wife could find it, then sending her to look for something that was in the same place. That's not just stupid, that's someone who wants to be caught. And heading to Argentina for a week was just nuts, particularly since he clearly didn't set the stage for his disappearance properly. Had he been back by Monday, no one would have noticed he was gone.

And even the quickness with which he decided to confess to everything points to a guy who wanted to be caught. He could have covered-up better than this. You'd be amazed at the lengths people will go to believe their heroes, and the dopes at RedState would MUCH rather have been lied to than to have heard the truth. He could have said that he was on a secret mission to free terrorist-fighting nuns and his supporters would have loudly insisted that anyone who doubted him was an anti-Catholic Islamofascist. Unlike with Senator Ensign, no confession was needed here.

Romantic Conservatives

Believe it or not, but conservatives are typically romantics at heart, which is why they live in a fantasy world that pits them as heroes against the forces of evil. And part of that romantic ideal for Sanford is that he's in a tragic love story that pits his demanding day job against his heart's true desires.

I don't doubt that he had already dreamed of that first emotional press conference confession many times, though I suspect he imagined it to be more romantic than it was. Possibly with his Argentine lover showing up and embracing him, while his wife stood on the side, nodding in approval, and the press corp applauding enthusiastically. His kids could even come running up and get a big hug from him and his mistress. It's straight out of a sappy movie, and by the end of it all, there wouldn't be a dry eye in the house.

Not that I think he thought such a situation was likely, but he wasn't living in a likely world. Conservatives rarely do. They live in a world of delusions and I strongly think that's where Sanford was with this. He got caught-up in a pipe dream which became so enticing to him that part of him purposefully sabotaged his career.

The Tranquility of Wilderness

He basically admitted to his romantic nature in one of his emails to her. I quote:

Got back an hour ago to civilization and am now in Columbia after what was for me a glorious break from reality down at the farm. No phones ringing and tangible evidence of a day’s labors. Though I have started every day by 6 this morning woke at 4:30, I guess since my body knew it was the last day, and I went out and ran the excavator with lights until the sun came up. To me, and I suspect no one else on earth, there is something wonderful about listening to country music playing in the cab, air conditioner running, the hum of a huge diesel engine in the background, the tranquility that comes with being in a virtual wilderness of trees and marsh, the day breaking and vibrant pink coming alive in the morning clouds — and getting to build something with each scoop of dirt.

Unlike most farmers, who consider their jobs to be real work, Sanford saw this as a "break from reality" and is foolish enough to imagine that he's the only one who needs a break from the stress of modern life. Because again, he's a romantic at heart. This wasn't about sex or a tawdry affair. This was true love with his mysterious South American soul mate. This was about romance and "escaping the norms." And deep down, this is how most conservatives feel. For as tough and d-baggy as they seem, underneath, they're all heroic knights, fighting back against a modern society that refuses to acknowledge their birthright as King of the Universe.

I'm sure even now, Sanford wants to be booted from office, so he can head back to his vibrant pink days and humming diesel engine. He can't go willingly, as that wouldn't be romantic. He needs for his enemies to conspire against him and force him to leave. That's what always happens to heroes. And he'd spend the rest of his days, working the soil like a real man, while his lover brought him freshly squeezed lemonade to drink in his excavator, and wiped the sweat off his brow with the hem of her homemade dress; which bulged with the child she was carrying.

But I suspect that he'd soon grow weary of life as a farmer, as he was really only interested in the romance of it all. Similarly, his mysterious Argentine would lose her mystery once they started living together and she started bitching about washing his filthy underwear. Dreams really are better than reality.