Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Cheney Resignation Rumors

Tristero over at Hullabaloo repeats the rumor that the rumor of Cheney’s resignation is, in fact, a real rumor; and not a speculative rumor.  People really are mumbling that Cheney might resign.  And where there’s smoke, you might as well throw kindling.  And so Tristero goes on to speculate that perhaps Condi might be Cheney’s replacement.  

But this is just needless speculation, as I already know who Cheney’s replacement will be.  And I’m writing this because I just can’t, in good conscience, continue to keep my loyal readers in the dark.  I already let this out of the bag over at Hullabaloo, so I figured I’d share it here.

Here's the scoop: I'm Dick Cheney's replacement. That's right. I just got the call this morning and it's going to be me. But it's not a resignation. Not officially, anyway. He'll be stepping down for health reasons. That way, it won't be so obvious when Bush resigns the following month. During the inauguration, no less. It'll be a real stunner. And then you've got President Biobrain to worry about for the next three years. Awesome.I can't tell you when all this is going to happen, but it's safe to say that it'll be in a month beginning with "D". Wish me luck!


Immanuel Kunt said...

Might I suggest a Vice President Kunt? If not, an embassy post in some tropical local will be sufficient.


Doctor Biobrain said...

Consider it done. I think it will be good politically to follow up a Dick with a Kunt. Plus, I think you could get a lot more sympathy when you dish out the obligatory "Go fuck yourself" line to obtuse Congressmen. Rather than being an ungracious personal attack, it could be seen as a clever retort from one who knows.

Anyone else looking for a cushy cabinet position? I've got a two-for-one deal that is just too good to pass on.
Cash only, please.