Sunday, June 19, 2005

Busting Up The Baddies

Interestingly, I was researching something for a theory I invented over coffee this morning. I was envisioning how Bush thought of the evil dictators and terrorists in the world. And I imagined that he thought of them as some sort of board of directors type group which meets regularly to discuss their evil plans. Much like the opening scene to Naked Gun, when all of the bad guys in the world were in their meeting together; and then Leslie Nielson busted it up and beat up all the bad guys; victoriously saving the world.

And Eureka! That was it. That's what made Bush go to war. It gave him the concept of all those evil dictators together, conspiring. Of course the Axis of Evil was there, and Bin Laden, and Zarqawi, and all of them; all planning 9/11 together and future terror attacks. And he saw himself as Detective Frank Drebin, busting up the baddies with his anti-terror, Iraq thing.
Thus, our President.

And that just made too much sense, so I guessed that other people have made that connection before. So I did a little research on that theory. And while I didn't confirm that, I did stumble upon this absurdly inane news story by Anderson Cooper of CNN, from back in August 2003. Maybe I'm spoiled because I never watch CNN or any other TV news, but this was one of the dumbest things I've ever read. Not because it's wrong. But because it was so irrelevant and meaningless.

"Much has been made about the differences Between Bush and President Clinton, but it turns out both agreed on screening "Naked Gun" movies. Bush, "Naked Gun 2 1/2," President Clinton "Naked Gun 33 1/3." Not sure what Clinton thought about the sequence in "33 1/3" that mocks the Hollywood A-list right here. After all, many were said to be staunch Clinton supporters. And Bush's choice, "Naked Gun 2 1/2" because it pokes fun at his own mom. Wonder what Freud would say about that. Or for that matter, Roger Ebert. The president of the United States is the most powerful man in the world. It's nice know they can take time out for the movies. Do you think they have to pay for the popcorn? I wonder."

Isn't this why we invented Entertainment Tonight and People Magazine? Good thing there wasn't anything important going on in the world back then. Like an illegal war, or anything.
And thus, our media.

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