Obama to Steal Tea Party Thoughts; Comes Up Empty

Here's a scary, scary video about how the Department of Homeland Security is secretly working to create Thought Crime Detection technology, which they try to flim-flam us about by covering the whole thing on Fox News.  Because if there's one way to hide a government secret, it's to have the most watched news network in America do a story on it..



And the thing is, what they're working on is kinda cool, particularly if it could also be used in hospitals; to give people instant physicals.  But there's nothing really scary about it, as it's really no different than what security guards and cops do anyway. The only difference is that instead of solely relying on our observations and instincts, we'd also be using technology to help us do it better. If anything, it would improve detection, as it'd make it more objective and reliable.

But to people who fear government, this can only mean one thing: The government is out to get us.  After all, everything means the government is out to get us.  You can have a story about police officers giving presents to poor children at Christmastime and see it warp into something involving child armies, welfare orphanages, and fixed elections.  You'd be a fool to doubt it.

For them, it's not a question of if the government's going to enslave us; but when; and that answer is invariably, soon or sooner.  And that's exactly what these guys imagine they want.  Life is boring and complicated.  Much easier to just grab a gun and take aim.  They have no doubts that this will all work out for them in the end.

Hitler Obama and the Serpent Jews

And if you want a good laugh, go to the YouTube link and read the crazy comments.

Like these:

"they can go too hell they are the bad people test it on there selves. can they detect how much gas i got in my butt before i blow it ouit on them"

"ITS REALLY NAZI GERMANY !!! Where the fuck is HILTER when u need him ? No wait hes here Barry Soetoro aka OBAMA"

"satan always wanted to be as The Most High; now he's going for another power grab.But he will not hold on to it that long..

This is what happens when you let a bunch of European Khazarian Ashkenazim Jew religion converts steal the holy land in 1948; to pretend be the lost 12 chosen tribes of beta Ysrael.. They were once known as serpent people; now are"politically" considered holy people..Therefore let nothing surprise you..

This is all just protocols of zion(synagogue of satan)"

"u have bush to thank, war on terror, " either your with us, or with the terrorists" and still, americans stand idle letting now obama get away with anything. problem is tho, what happens in usa, happens in the rest of the western world. spreads like cancer. fucken dictators. kill em all, let God sort em out"

When all else fails, blame the Zionists and the blacks.  And no, I didn't cherrypick those or alter them in away way.  Those were the first four responses I saw in the comments section.  And there are lots of comments like those.  My favorite of these four was the guy who called Obama "Barry Soetoro."  Look, we KNOW what his name is.  It's Barack Hussein Obama II  And there is NOTHING to suggest that that's not his real name.

So why on earth do these people insist upon implying that Barack Obama is REALLY Barry Soetoro?  That can't possibly make any sense, unless we're to imagine that his parents gave him the last name of his future step-father, rather than his own father's name.  That's ridiculous.  And seriously, what the hell difference could it possibly make?  As if the name "Barack Obama" is sooooo much better for taking over the world than "Barry Soetoro."

So we've got a section of our government engaging in a massive cover-up of Obama's real last name; including a fake birth certificate, fake birth announcements, and fake entire lifestory for reasons that don't even make sense to the idiots making these claims.  But to these whackjobs, this is all just more proof that Obama isn't the nice guy he seems to be to everyone who's ever seen him.

After all, why would he go through all the trouble of faking his birth certificate, birth announcement, and life story, while defending it in court; unless it was lying?  To think otherwise would imply that the most obvious explanation is the right one.  Apparently, it's much easier to believe in nonsensical conspiracies than acknowledge the obvious.

Up Next: The Dream Police

And the whole idea that this could be a "Thought Crime Detection" system is ludicrous.  I suspect that the real problem was Fox News' references to Minority Report, which set the seeds of fear into the hearts of these anti-government fear-mongers.  Because this system CAN'T predict what you're thinking or what you're going to do.  That's impossible.  This thing is reading your heart rate and eye movements, not scanning your brain for pictures of porn.  Jesus christ, it's people like this who get eaten by bears.

Besides, we don't use metal detectors to decide who to arrest either. You get arrested if they find evidence you're doing something wrong. But we've all been flagged by metal detectors, and sometimes searched, and we didn't go to jail for it. It'd be the same thing with these nervous detectors. Yet the commenters there were acting as if this made Obama the next Hitler; as if Hitler's big crime was trying to monitor his people; rather than, say...starting a world war while exterminating millions of people.  Maybe I'm the crazy one, but I fail to see how these are equivalents.

And it's as if we're to imagine Obama's really behind all this, plotting the whole thing from the Oval Office.

Obama: So, how are our thought crime detection booths coming along? 

Biden: They're coming along great, O. Just like you thought.  I tried it out on Ayers today and knew exactly what he was thinking.  It was cool beans.

Obama: Excellent, excellent. I really can't wait to start using them to find all the Real Americans so we can lock them up in our FEMA Concentration Camps and re-educate them, just like Glenn Beck said we would.

Biden: Sure is a good thing nobody listened to him.

Obama: Tell me about it.

Because in reality, Obama doesn't know anything about this. This is a research project within DHS and isn't the sort of thing Obama is pushing.. Yet these people seem to imagine Obama as some super-villain, as if he has nearly the time for such silly activities. It's much more comforting to imagine that someone really is in charge of everything, rather than admit that we're all just making it up as we go along. Even our presidents.